Make them do it - Comment fest!

[marguerite_26]

So what are you guys up for today? A little comment fest type thing?

The other day Hermette suggested a cliché fest based on the How to make Merlin/Arthur do it list. To which I said: YES! (because moar porn! *grabby hands*). Thank you to ella_bane, who agreed to be my co-host in this little fest. <3


Banner by hermette

Harry/Draco lovers! I have not forgotten you! I welcome you to write comment fic based on The H/D Emergency Plothole Fix List! --- Anyone willing to make me a pretty banner?

How this works:
~ Grab a cliché, trope, contrived set-up, random reason to be naked from either list and write a fic of any size. And comment with it (or a link to it) below.
~ Put the pairing and 'make them do it' reason in the subject line.
~ Multiple fills of the same cliché are very very welcome.
~ I’m not big on rules. If you want to write a cliché fic for a pairing other than Merlin/Arthur or Harry/Draco (or even a fandom other than Merlin/HP.... go right ahead. Good porn is good porn, yeah).
~ Also Porn is lovely, but not necessary. :P
~ These lists are not closed for business. Feel free to continue to add to them (in their respective posts).
ETA:
~ Feel free to comment begging for particular cliches you want written

Fics so far:

[HP]
Harry/Draco - Draco being a Veela made them do it. by kjp_013
Harry/Draco; Watching 'Merlin' made them do it! by faithwood
Harry/Draco - Pink unicorns flying through the sky made them do it! by dysonrules WITH ART by star_sailor13
Harry/Scorpius - Harry not believing Scorpius is as amazing in bed as he claims makes them do it by snarkyscorp
Harry/Draco -- Pink unicorns made them do it! - #2 by vaysh11
Harry/Draco: Resurrected with ancient veela magic Snape makes them do it by chantefable
Al/Scorpius- Draco Being A Homophobe Made Them Do It by ginger_veela [WIP!]
H/D—"Pink unicorns made them do it!"... No. 3 by potteresque_ire
Draco/Harry - Waking Up In Bed Together... Makes Them Do It by hpfangirl71
Being accused of a crime together makes them do it by wind_hime99



[Merlin]
Arthur/Merlin, Arthur being shirtless makes them do it by kim47
Arthur/Merlin, Uther makes them do it! by rebeccaann08 and The Sequel
Arthur/Merlin Destiny made them do it. by anon
Arthur/Merlin Destiny always makes them do it/Magic reveal makes them do it by lolafeist
Merlin/Arthur - Alcohol and the office party made them do it by anon
Arthur/Merlin Arthur being honourable makes them do it by marguerite_26 [WIP!]
Arthur/Merlin Sex magic/rituals made them do it by natanilik
Arthur/Merlin Riding double on Hengroen makes them do it! (nc17) by myashke
Arthur/Merlin - In Which Sharing a Bed Made Them Do It by lycoris
Arthur/Merlin - Pretend boyfriends at a boozy party made them do it by social_retard86
Arthur/Merlin, body heat makes them do it by mabonwitch [WIP!]
Arthur/Merlin, Merlin not believing Arthur is as amazing in bed as he claims made them do it by kim47
Merlin/Arthur, Gwaine In Which a Shared Doctor Who Obsession Made them Do It by lycoris
Arthur/Merlin, Full Moon makes them do it (every night) by mabonwitch
Arthur/Merlin, Merlin's magic continuously vanishing Arthur's pants makes them do it by rebbeile
Arthur/Merlin, The Heat of Battle (and various other things) make them do it. by gfeather
Arthur/Merlin - Arthur being awful at emotional stuff but good at physical makes them do it by lady_ragnell
Arthur/Merlin - Gaius recs sex as the best cure for the common whatever and makes them do it! by gfeather
Arthur/Merlin Walking in on Gaius and Geoffrey in the wild abandon of sodomy makes them do it. by anon
Arthur/Merlin. Excalibur makes them do it. by rotrude
Arthur/Merlin Horny knights make them do it. by sparklespiff
Arthur/Merlin - Gwen Cheating on Arthur With Lancelot Makes Them Do It by dornfelder


[crossovers]
Harry Potter/Morgause, accidental time-travel makes them do it by chantefable
Harry/Draco; Watching 'Merlin' made them do it! by faithwood



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Comments

Harry/Draco - Draco being a Veela made them do it.

[kjp-013.livejournal.com]

[I don't know if this is what you meant, but I was bored so I wrote this *hides*]

Harry looked around the Great Hall with a frown on his face and a large Ogden’s in his hand. He hated balls of any sort. Well, not any sort. Just the dance-type ones. Especially the fancy-dress dance-type ones.

“Hello, Harry!”

Harry spun around quickly to face the man calling him.

“Malfoy?” he asked, disbelief clear in his voice. “And did you call me Harry? And what the fuck are you wearing?”

“It is your name,” Malfoy drawled. “And I would like you to call me Draco. What, with you being my mate and all.”

“Ah, ok.” Harry turned to move away from him when his brain caught up with the last words Malfoy had said. “What? I’m not your friend! Did you want to be friends?"

“No.” Draco vigorously shook his head. “Well, yes. But that’s not the point. You’re my mate.”

“Huh?” was all that Harry could say.

“You’re my mate,” Draco said again.

“Huh?” Harry really wished he’d stop saying it soon.
“I’m a Veela. And you’re my mate,” Draco clarified.

“You’re not! And I’m not!” Harry nodded to himself.
Draco just smiled and turned his back to Harry.

“I am. See, I have wings! And I have blond hair and I’m oh so beautiful!” Draco turned back to face Harry. “I’m a Veela!”

“You’re dressed as a Veela, yes,” Harry spoke slowly. “But you’re not a Veela. How much have you had?” he asked, looking into Draco’s glass.

Draco batted Harry’s hand away and fluttered his eyelashes at him. “I’m a Veela, you’re my mate. And I’d very much like you to fuck me now.”

Harry should have spat his drink over Draco in shock. He should have turned and fled. But he didn’t. He just looked at Draco and nodded. He nodded because Draco did have wings, he did have all that lovely blond hair and he was very beautiful. He did not nod because he’d been secretly lusting after the man before him for years. He did not nod because he was a horny teenager facing the promise of sex. Nope. He nodded because of Draco’s Veela powers.

Harry nodded once more and moved to take Draco’s hand.

“Hey, Harry!”

“Hi, Ron,” Harry groaned and spun once again to face his friend. “I’m just going to go fuck Draco for a bit. I’ll be back soon.”

“Not too soon,” Draco said, with a wink at Harry.
Harry laughed. Ron did not.

“What did you just say?” Ron asked, looking warily between Harry and Draco.

“I’m going to fuck Draco. I’ll be back later.” Harry winked back at Draco.

“Why?” Ron spluttered.

“Draco is a Veela and I am his mate,” Harry told Ron. “He needs me to fuck him now.”

“He’s not a Veela!” Ron exclaimed. “He’s just Malfoy!”

“No, Ron,” Harry patiently explained. “Look – he has wings. And the lovely blond hair. And he’s all beautiful and stuff!”

Draco was nodding his agreement. Ron was shell-shocked.

“Okay then!” Harry cheerfully called.

He grabbed Draco hand and led him away from the Hall.

Re: Harry/Draco - Draco being a Veela made them do it.

[marguerite-26.livejournal.com]

“Not too soon,” Draco said, with a wink at Harry.
Harry laughed. Ron did not.
HAHAHA!! Very funny. I'm so glad that Harry and Draco are very much on side with this 'random excuse for fucking' thing. :DDDD

Thanks so much for playing.

prompt

[marguerite-26.livejournal.com]

I totally need to see:

someone not believing the other one is as amazing in bed as they claim made them do it

please please please???

Re: prompt

[kim47.livejournal.com]

Oh lord, totally seconding that. I'd write it myself if I wasn't currently writing Arthur being shirtless made them do it (one of my personal favourite tropes :D)

Harry/Draco; Watching 'Merlin' made them do it!

[faithwood.livejournal.com]

This should be a cliché. Also, dammit, woman, I should be working! Your Merlin banners and the thought of H/D porn are messing with my brain!

---

"Filthy muggle," Draco spat, glaring at the screen and the kingly figure of Uther Pendragon.

Harry patted Draco's knee soothingly. "I'm sure Arthur won't let Uther burn Merlin at the stake."

"Arthur is another filthy muggle," Draco said with conviction. He scowled at Arthur's close-up and his pouty expression. "Look at him. He's been Confounded. At birth. Why don't these wizards just . . ." Draco made strangling motions with his hands. Harry shot him a look and Draco hastily added, "Not that I condone such behaviour, of cour — Urgh!" Draco gasped, distracted, as Prince Arthur swallowed with difficulty, staring at his imprisoned servant. "'There's nothing I can do, Merlin.'" Draco imitated Arthur's distressed tone. "Honestly! What an arse!"

"I like Arthur," Harry said and squinted at the screen. "He's very . . . manly." He bit his bottom lip before he added, "For a blond."

Out of the corner of his eye, Harry saw Draco glaring daggers at him. Unperturbed, Harry continued, "Look at those arms." Harry all but purred as the actor portraying Arthur randomly took off his shirt. "He must work out a lot." Harry ignored the strangled sound Draco made and cried, "Oh, look! It's Morgana! You like her, don't you? She's a proper Slytherin. I suspect watching her smirk is a bit like looking in a mirror. She shares your fashion sense, too . . . What are you doing?" Harry blinked as Draco stood up.

Draco pulled off his robe. "Showing you my manliness," he growled and, in a flash, pulled out his wand.

In the next second, Harry found himself lying on the sofa, his wrists bound above his head and his clothes Vanished.

Draco took off his pants, his cheeks flushed and his eyes on fire.

Harry stretched languidly and then spread his legs, grinning. "I told you that if you watch this show with me, there'll be porn."

Re: Harry/Draco; Watching 'Merlin' made them do it!

[ella-bane.livejournal.com]

OH I LOVE YOU, FAITH. LIKE REALLY A LOT.

<3 <3 <3

Arthur/Merlin, Arthur being shirtless makes them do it (1/4)

[kim47.livejournal.com]

Merlin should have known it would only be a matter of time.

Arthur had what Merlin considered to be a frankly unhealthy predilection for sleeping shirtless. Every night, Merlin would help him undress, and put him in his sleeping shift. Every morning, without exception, Arthur would be shirtless. Usually sprawled out, golden hair falling artfully across his forehead, limbs bathed in warm, pale sunlight. Sometimes he suspected Arthur was doing it on purpose.

It made him sick.

This morning was no different.

"Late again," Arthur drawled, sitting on the edge of his bed, running calloused hands through his sleep ruffled hair.

"Yes, sire," Merlin replied through clenched teeth, setting Arthur's breakfast on the table and turning to face the prince. Arthur smirked at him.

"Well don't just stand there like an idiot, get my clothes," he ordered, standing up and stretching.

Merlin's retort was on his lips immediately, until his brain was involuntarily hijacked for the much more pleasant task of simply staring at Arthur.

It started with Arthur forcing his shoulders down, tilting his head to one side, and straining his neck, apparently trying to work out a kink it had developed in the night. He rolled his head around, grimacing slightly, hand coming up to ease the tense muscles of his neck.

Merlin was perfectly aware that he was staring, and was rather disturbed to find himself without the power to stop.

Arthur's powerful arms stretched out behind him as he linked his hands together and forced his chest out. His broad, strong chest, with just a smattering of light golden curls across it, Merlin noted a little wildly. Arthur continued to stretch, his head dropping down again, straining his neck once more. He hummed slightly, clearly finding the experience pleasurable.

He's not the only one, part of Merlin's brain supplied. He tried to frown at it, but it ignored him in favour of voicing its appreciation of Arthur's sculpted stomach.

Arthur looked up suddenly, his quite unfairly blue eyes fixed on Merlin's. They narrowed slightly, then brightened, and a small smile tugged at Arthur's lips. He brought his right hand up to his left shoulder and massaged the muscle.

"Merlin," he began, his face taking on the mischievous look which never boded well for Merlin. "Merlin, I seem to have pulled a muscle in training yesterday."

"Hmmm?" was the best Merlin could offer, distracted by the ripple of Arthur's biceps as he massaged his own shoulder.

Arthur grinned at him, a knowing, almost smug smile that Merlin had the strongest urge to kiss off his face. In fact, he had the strongest urge to kiss Arthur until he had forgotten how to be a prat entirely. It might take a long time, but Merlin was willing to put in the effort. It was for the public good, after all.

No, he told himself firmly. That's not helping.

"Rub that ointment Gaius sent up on it," he demanded, no hint of a request in his voice.

"Would it really kill you to simply ask nicely for once?" Merlin sniped back, feeling a little more at ease now that they were bickering. Nervertheless, he fetched the ointment from Arthur's dresser.

"You're my servant, Merlin. I don't have to ask you to do anything."

Arthur sat back down on the bed, his back to Merlin. Merlin now had a first class view of Arthur's back, the lines of his shoulder blades down to his waist, the bumps of his spine surprisingly visible, just begging Merlin to place kisses between each one, dropping down to his perfectly -

"Merlin!"

He jumped guiltily, and moved forward to sit behind Arthur. He carefully unscrewed the pot, trying not to look at Arthur, and rubbed the ointment over his hands, warming it.

"I'm not a girl, Merlin," Arthur whined, "Just get on with it."

Merlin was more than happy to oblige.

Re: Arthur/Merlin, Arthur being shirtless makes them do it (1/4)

[kim47.livejournal.com]

He started slowly, just ghosting his hands over Arthur, spreading the ointment lightly. He brushed along the width of his shoulders, before dropping his hands a little lower and pressing his thumbs just below Arthur's shoulder blades. Arthur (unconsciously, Merlin suspected) leaned back into the touch, pushing insistently against Merlin's hands. He brought them back up to Arthur's shoulders, and began to massage in earnest. His fingers danced over Arthur's shoulders, occasionally grazing along his collar bones, before darting back up to caress the tendons of his neck. He moved his hands in broad sweeping circles across Arthur's back, enjoying the feel of Arthur's warm, pliant skin under him.

Merlin could feel the tension in Arthur's shoulders easing under his hands, and he couldn't help the little spark of pride at that. It was replaced by a spark of something entirely different when Arthur's head dropped down and a moan escaped his lips. Merlin drew back immediately, as if Arthur's skin was on fire. He immediately felt room fill with foot-shuffling, fingernail-examining awkwardness, and was ready to stand up and flee when -

"Keep going."

Arthur's voice was slightly hoarse, but distinct. Merlin cautiously reached for him again. Tentatively, he resumed the massage. Arthur resumed the moaning, still soft, but unmistakable.

It was all rather unfair, Merlin thought. On the one hand, touching Arthur like this was incredibly enjoyable. On the other, touching Arthur like this was turning him on to an unfortunate degree. Merlin had no idea how he was going to get out of this situation with his dignity intact.

He was still musing on this conundrum when Arthur turned abruptly and seized his wrists.

"Arthur?"

He looked up to see Arthur surprisingly close, staring at him with darkened eyes, lips slightly parted. Merlin licked his own, mostly out of nervousness, and was completely powerless to stop his gaze travelling down. Oh. Oh. It appeared that Merlin wasn't the only one who had to worry about his dignity. He looked back up to meet Arthur's eyes, which were now unabashedly staring at Merlin's lips. When they curled into a smile, Arthur's eyes returned to his.

They continued to look at each other, neither moving, Arthur still gripping his wrists, tightly almost to the point of pain. Merlin wanted, more than anything, to lean forward and close the distance, but he couldn't, he was frozen, fixed, entirely at Arthur's mercy. Slowly, Arthur eased his hold on Merlin's wrists, bringing them forward. Merlin stretched out his fingers, instinctively, and they made contact with Arthur's chest. He drew his breath in sharply, eyes fixed on his own hands splayed almost possessively over Arthur.

Then, with a slight, impatient noise, hands still clasping Merlin's wrists, Arthur leaned forward and pressed his lips against Merlin's.

Uther makes them do it!

[rebeccaann08.livejournal.com]

Uther stared at the servant, then at the unicorn standing in the room across from them.

Gaius stepped forward. "Er, excuse me, Sire. I believe I can explain."

"You never told me your apprentice was a sorcerer," Uther accused.

"That's because he's not, Sire. He's innocent," Gaius said. He jumped when two fairies appeared next to Merlin, popping in out of nowhere and flying around his head, spreading glittery dust everywhere.

"What do you mean?"

"I mean exactly what I said. He's innocent. Very innocent. He's so pure that the purest of creatures are attracted to him," Gaius said.

Arthur stepped forward. "Wait a minute. Are you telling me that...that magical creatures are appearing all over the castle because Merlin is a virgin?"

Merlin blushed. "It's not my fault!"

Arthur eyed him and shrugged. "I've said it before. What a man does in his own time - or doesn't do in your case - is his own business."

"Well if I didn't have to spend all my time taking care of you and drawing you baths and polishing your armor and mucking out your stables and...and...all the other stuff you make me do, maybe I could get laid!"

Uther turned to his son. "Is this true?"

"What? That I give him jobs to do?"

"That he doesn't have much free time?"

Arthur frowned, thinking. "Well, maybe. I don't know, it's not my job to keep an eye on him at all hours of the day."

"But he is your servant and it is your job to make sure he doesn't harm Camelot. Which he's doing by attracting magical creatures. So therefore, it is your job to correct it," Uther said, sitting back down on his throne.

"How?" Arthur looked between Merlin, the fairies, Gaius, Uther, and the unicorn, shifting nervously.

Uther eyed him.

"You want me to...to...take away his innocence?" Arthur said, blushing hotly.

"Within the hour," Uther said. When Arthur didn't move, Uther glared. "See to it, then."

Arthur opened his mouth to protest, but then paused and studied Merlin, his eyes roving up and down his servant's body.

"May I be excused from my duties for the rest of the day, father?" Arthur suddenly asked, his eyes not leaving Merlin's form.

"Surely it won't take all day to see the job through," Uther said, frowning.

"Yes father, but if the situation is as serious as you say it is, then I should do a thorough job, no?"

Uther considered for a moment before conceding. "All right, you are excused for the day. But make sure you thoroughly take his innocence."

Merlin squeaked when Arthur grabbed his wrist, pulling him out of the room.

"Come on, Merlin, let's do this," he said, grinning. "You know, for Camelot's sake."

Re: Uther makes them do it!

[wanderhomeagain.livejournal.com]

ahaha! That is amazing. FOR CAMELOT!

Arthur/Merlin Destiny made them do it.

[(Anonymous)]

Sometimes Destiny is a bitch ;)

.....

“I don’t even want to be here,” said Arthur, tugging off his t-shirt and flinging it somewhere in the direction of the wardrobe.

“Well no-one’s forcing you to— Ah!” Merlin’s voice cut off abruptly as Arthur bit down hard on his collar bone, then licked over the darkened skin. He wriggled one hand free and slid it over Arthur’s newly exposed chest, bronzed and utterly fucking perfect in the orange glow of the street lamp shining through his thin curtains. For a second they could have been somewhere else entirely, it was only the lack of scars that jolted him back to the present. Merlin bucked up against the weight that covered him.

“I—” His voice stuttered when Arthur pressed back down, pinning him at the hips, “I don’t want to be here either,” he managed, voice too breathless to be entirely believable.

“Good,” Arthur gasped above him, shifting under he fit even more comfortably between Merlin’s thighs, splayed open like they could climb inside each other and it still wouldn’t be enough. “So long as we’re clear.”

“This is just... a thing,” Merlin said into the sweaty hollow of Arthur’s throat.

“Yeah.” Arthur’s hands were gripping his thighs hard enough to bruise. “You’re still fucking annoying.”

“You too,” said Merlin, because this was how they were, after all, and this was how it always started, with a challenge, angry words and pushing, always pushing at each other, before they fought their way to something better.

Sometimes destiny let them get there by themselves, and sometimes it got really tired of waiting.

“Shit,” said Arthur, when Merlin’s fingers unerringly found their goal. He dropped his head to Merlin’s bony shoulder and panted. “If anyone asks, we were drunk.”

“Works for me,” said Merlin, and pulled Arthur into a kiss.

The End.

Re: Arthur/Merlin Destiny made them do it.

[marguerite-26.livejournal.com]

Brilliant, anon. Fucking brilliant. ♥

Pink unicorns flying through the sky made them do it!

[dysonrules.livejournal.com]

"I don't believe it. Look, Potter! There is a pink unicorn in the sky! Flying! Just there." Draco pointed to a space beyond and above Potter's left shoulder.

Potter frowned at him. "That won't work on me. What are you trying to distract me from?"

Draco rolled his eyes. Honestly, the prat was far too suspicious for his own good. Or for Draco's own good, which was the important bit.

"I'm not joking, Potter. Now there are more. Six pink unicorns flying through the sky. They are rather... sparkly, aren't they?"

Potter glared at him, but then whipped his head around for a lightning-fast look. Then he gaped and turned around to watch the antics of the strange animals.

"Told you so," Draco said and smirked. Then he snatched Potter's wand from his hand and cast a spell.

"Hey!" Potter yelped at his sudden and complete nudity. "What are you doing?"

"I can't shag you with your clothes on," Draco said and cast the same spell on himself. He waited to see if Potter would protest, but beyond a lovely flush, Potter made no reaction other than running his eyes over Draco's form.

Shortly thereafter, with Draco's cock pounding rhythmically into him, Potter moaned and asked breathlessly, "Where did you get the flying pink unicorns, anyway?"

Draco, nearly lost in the bliss of fucking the Boy Who Lived, replied, "I don't know what you're talking about, Potter. There is no such thing as a flying pink unicorn."

Re: Pink unicorns flying through the sky made them do it!

[faithwood.livejournal.com]

LOLOLOL!

I LOVE FLYING PINK UNICORNS SO MUCH! They are BRILLIANT. And so are you.

*adores*

Destiny always makes them do it/Magic reveal makes them do it (Merlin/Arthur)

[lolafeist.livejournal.com]

It’s been a month since Arthur found out about Merlin’s magic—not because Merlin made a mistake, but because he buried his face in the pillow beside Arthur’s head and said, “I’m a sorcerer. I’m tired. I’m sorry.”

Weariness made him feel so heavy that even fear couldn’t bring him to look up and gauge Arthur’s reaction. Arthur touched his back, and he didn’t flinch, but he did cry—just a little. When Arthur gathered him up and asked no questions, relief washed over Merlin like a drug and pulled him into the dark. He slept for hours and hours and woke feeling like the whole world had been washed clean and new.

It’s been a month of questions and demands, late nights in Arthur’s chambers showing off every spell he can do without setting the curtains on fire or permanently damaging the walls. Merlin’s heart swells with pride, but if Arthur doesn’t back off he’ll never get scrying down right, and they’ll never figure out where Morgana is.

After four days of trying and failing to perform the scrying ritual correctly, Merlin is ready to throw the big stone bowl right out the window. At least half the frustration comes from Arthur hovering around him the entire time, touching his back and his hip, leaning too close and breathing at his neck.

“I need to focus,” Merlin says, squirming. “Don’t you have knights to train? Things to poke with swords?”

Arthur catches his wrist and holds it firmly, seeming to know exactly when to let up before the grip actually hurts.

“Come to bed.”

“But—”

“Merlin.”

The sound of Arthur’s voice is just forceful enough to pull Merlin’s attention away from the table covered in a mess of candles and potions and herbs and artifacts.

When Merlin glances aside, Arthur reaches out and touches his throat in a slow slide of warm knuckles and smooth fingernails. Merlin shivers, thoroughly unused to this level of calm scrutiny.

“What?” he asks, swallowing hard.

“Let me take you to bed.”

Arthur’s fingers reach the back of Merlin’s neck and stroke through the hair at his nape. It tickles, the shiver of it sparking a tentative smile that Arthur echoes, looking down at the table. They haven’t quite figured this out. Merlin’s magic, Arthur’s awareness of all that he can do, has disrupted the simplicity of their friendship.

Maybe now they really are two sides of the same coin, but balanced delicately on edge or spinning through time—because otherwise Merlin can’t bear to wonder which side faces the heavens and which is shadowed, carrying the weight of their destiny.

“What are you thinking about?”

Arthur watches him, frowning. There’s a shadow of hurt in the furrow at his brow, and Merlin realizes he never answered or gave any indication that yes, it’s what he wants, it’s what he’s always wanted, more than a purpose, more than anything. That yes, it’s what he wants so badly that sometimes when they’re hiding in the dark hours before dawn, mouth to hot mouth, he dreads the sunrise and wonders if he could steal more time, and how much, and how much of Arthur he’s allowed to keep for himself. Not for Albion, not for destiny, not for peace, not for Camelot. For himself.

“You,” Merlin says, breathes it really, the sound rattling out of him. “Me. Magic. Destiny, I guess.”

Then Arthur tugs him off balance and catches him and kisses his throat and jaw. The hair on his arms prickles up so hard it makes his skin tighten and ache. Arthur grazes his teeth along Merlin’s neck and bites at the tendon there.

“Stop thinking,” Arthur says. It’s a hot growl, wet and soothing where he’s left a bruise in the shape of everything they can’t figure out how to say.

Merlin laughs like falling and lets Arthur drag him to the bed.

Re: Destiny always makes them do it/Magic reveal makes them do it (Merlin/Arthur)

[ella-bane.livejournal.com]

Guh, gorgeous, hon. <3 <3 <3

DESTINY IS MY FAVORITE REASON OF ALL.

Merlin/Arthur - Alcohol and the office party made them do it

[(Anonymous)]

“And another thing I hate about you? Another thing? Is the way you order your co . . . oomph,” Merlin’s head barely missed smashing into the door as Arthur yanked it open and deposited him onto the backseat of the taxi before crawling in after him.

Arthur pulled Merlin into a seated position with some fair amount of difficulty before asking, “Where do you live, Merlin?”

“Jerk.”

“What!? No, no we are not having this conversation. We’ll have it tomorrow. Sober. At work.” Arthur huffed, blowing his fringe out his eyes, and tried to focus on Merlin’s face. Somehow his gaze got continually distracted by Merlin’s pouty lower lip. He shook his head, turning to face the cab driver instead. “Now, Emrys, tell the nice man where to take you.”

Merlin glared at him, blue eyes flashing before he tilted forward and smacked his forhead directly into Arthur’s shoulder. “I hate you so much you don’t even . . .” he mumbled into Arthur’s shirt while Arthur attemped to keep him from slipping off the seat and onto the floor.

Arthur gazed at the cabbie, who was looking resolutely forward, before sighing and giving the directions to his flat. He’d work this out in the morning. Maybe.

They’d been on the road for about five minutes and Arthur was half asleep, half wondering if that fifth shot of vodka had been one too many for an office party, when Merlin squirmed himself closer. One of Merlin’s ridiculously long hands rested on his stomach, rubbing aimlessly over the hem, and the other wormed it’s way behind them so that Merlin’s was sort of awkwardly hugging him and Arthur guessed he would just have to be okay with it until they got to his place and he could deposit Merlin onto his couch to sleep away his drunk but then Merlin frowned and buried his head against Arthur’s neck so that his lips moved over Arthur’s skin when he started to talk.

“I hate you, Arthur. You’re mean and prattish and you never say thank you and you, you, you got me a company gift card for my birthday last year when I spent a whole month looking for your’s and . . .” Arthur shivered as Merlin’s stopped talking but continued to move his mouth over the cords and hollows of Arthur’s neck, raising goosebumps and making Arthur’s stomach tighten. Arthur tightened his arm around Merlin, where it sat loosely wrapped around his waist, and Merlin seemed to accept this for an unspoken invitation to crawl awkwardly onto Arthur’s lap and capture his mouth with loosely, slightly chapped lips. Arthur stiffened, thought of balking and pushing Merlin off him. Tell him to stop being an idiot. Remind him that Merlin was his secretary for God’s sake and what was he thinking of – but then Merlin’s skinny hips ground down against him and Merlin’s wet mouth was sucking on his lower lip and, well, they’d sort this out in the morning.

Maybe.

Re: Merlin/Arthur - Alcohol and the office party made them do it

[lolafeist.livejournal.com]

Oh god, yes. This is awesome.

[anna-unfolding.livejournal.com]

This really is a thing of beauty. I will return to play soon!!! God, maybe with a Merlin/Arthur??? I read so much more Merlin/Arthur that I ever talk about!!! It's like my private little feel-good pairing that I turn to when I need it. Hmmm. A really good Merlin/Arthur magic-related hurt/comfort. My perfect Merlin fic! Maybe that's what I will return to write later this weekend!

xo Anners

[marguerite-26.livejournal.com]

That would be awesome. magic-related hurt/comfort is an excellent trope! write it! <3

Arthur/Merlin Arthur being honourable makes them do it [Part 1/3]

[marguerite-26.livejournal.com]

Bear with me okay? Gotta get through some stuff before getting to the other stuff... :/
Warning: possible reference to dub-con. [everyone is of age]

~~~

“Sire, the king asked me too...” Merlin choked on the rest of the sentence as his eyes adjusted from the bright sunlight to the darkness of the stables. Along the back wall, Merlin caught the outline of Arthur mostly hidden in late afternoon shadows. He was leaning against the wall, his head bent, chin to chest and for a second Merlin thought he might even be asleep until he caught Arthur’s ragged breathing and the distinct wet, sulking noise that came from the silhouette of the new stable boy, Tommy, kneeling at Arthur’s feet, his head bobbing at Arthur’s groin.

“Well,” Arthur said, half breathless, half bored. “Surely there’s more to the message than that.” Tommy hesitated then moved to pull off, but Arthur’s hand tangled in the boy’s hair, encouraging him on.

Merlin blinked, incredulous at first, followed quickly by a slow simmering anger. When he found his voice it was curt and raspy. “You are to be in Council this afternoon.” His fist clenched and he added, “At your leisure, Sire.”

Arthur’s head snapped up to catch Merlin’s glare. When Merlin’s turned to leave, Arthur called out. “No.” Merlin froze, already knowing what Arthur was about to say before he added, “Wait for me, I’m almost done here.”

Merlin didn’t turn around. He stood, hand on the door, waited and listened. The back of his neck prickled as the sounds seeped into his ear and skittered, unwelcome, over his skin until Arthur’s final grunt followed by the thick sounds of the stable boy choking and swallowing. Merlin heard the jingle of a money sac and he swung open the door, not able to stand it another moment.

He walked quickly back to the castle, bile rising in his throat.

“Merlin!”

He refused to turn or slow. Arthur was a bastard, but he was quick. If he wanted to catch up, he would.

“Dammit, Merlin!” Arthur jogged up beside him, an amused look on his face that raised Merlin’s ire further. “You do know that you’re my servant and I’m not supposed need to run to catch up with you?”

“Yes, Sire.” Merlin stopped and let Arthur pass him. “I’ll be sure to show my deference to your nobility.”

Arthur turned back to him; his eyes narrowed. “Merlin, you are making a big deal out of something you do not understand.”

“I think it’s you that doesn’t understand, your highness.” Merlin let the sarcasm curl around the honorific. “Tommy is a stable boy, not a whore.”

A huff of disbelief puffed from Arthur’s mouth. He put his hands on his hips. “The boy – who is older than you, I’ll have you know – approached me, not the other way around. I wouldn’t... that’s not something I would demand of someone.”

Merlin’s cheeks flamed. “Not without proper payment at least.”

Arthur gaped. “I wasn't paying him for that! That was just a thank you. It will go a long way to help feed his family. It's how things work Merlin.” Arthur shook his head. “You're from a small village. You don't understand how those who have more help those who have less.”

"I understand perfectly, Arthur.” Merlin tucked his hands to his side to stop their trembling. “I used to be a stable boy in Ealdor. Don't fool yourself into thinking that just because we didn't get any princes stopping by that those who had more didn't offer to help those who had less.”

Merlin ran up the steps, not waiting for Arthur’s reply, not wanting to hear it. Arthur didn’t follow.

~~~~

more later...

Re: Arthur/Merlin Arthur being honourable makes them do it [Part 1/3]

[myashke.livejournal.com]

OMG - you are too evil, leaving us hanging on that! Plus also, you didn't warn for stable-boyness, not that I'm complaining! *fans self*

Too much potential for comment!porn, babe, just... whew. Too much... :)

Arhur/Merlin Sex magic/rituals made them do it

[natanilik.livejournal.com]

Sex magic/rituals made them do it

I have like 5 minutes before I don’t have internet for days and then this feast happened AND I WANTED TO TAKE PART!!! so I’m making it short.


Arthur was certain that something was not right. And Merlin telling him again for the n-th time that he was the magical expert and so he knew what he was doing did not reassure him in the least.

After Merlin spoke the incantation over the stone and placed it at midnight on a new moon unto the carved tree stump left there by the fairies to receive offerings a sweet smell began to spread out from the stone.

Precaution made Arthur take out Excalibur and grip it firmer in his hand, prepared for nearly everything.

But then Merlin’s power began to respond to the smell. It looked as though it drew it out of his thin body, taking it in slightly glowing tendrils to the grass and trees in his vicinity, carefully exploring every leave and living bit they had. Some bits of magic parted from the others and drifted in the air, meaming a swarm of little glowing insects. Merlin had his eyes closed and breathed in deeply, a dimpled smile gracing his face. He looked blissful.

It was beautiful.

Arthur swallowed and started watching the golden magic in it’s explorations again.

“Does it work?” He asked. If it did not they’d have to learn about nature and it’s ways another way. Camelot had problems with the harvest and if he did not want his people to starve they needed to know why the earth refused to be fertile although the sun shone and it rained enough to water the plants.

Merlin opened his eyes and nodded. The moment he caught sight of Arthur he stopped the movement and the smile fell from his face, mouth going slack. Arthur noted the smell growing stronger, nearly overpowering in his sweetness now and also noticed that Merlin’s magic, which had been in constant movement right up to now had stopped completely.

Swallowing once more he looked into Merlin’s gold eyes, pupils blown wide and overflown with mystic powers.

“Everything all right?” He asked and cursed his ignorance concerning magical matters when it did come to other things than destroying it.

Merlin nodded again and with this his magic began moving once more. But unlike before now all it’s glowing tendrils where focused into one direction and before Arthur could grip his sword even firmer.

All he remembered afterwards where flashes of gold, the sweet smell and Merlin touching him outside, inside and everywhere at once. He recalled the smoothness of bare skin beneath his fingers and something strangely powerful that was familiar in a way that screamed “Merlin” and made him tingle even now.

Merlin, still sleeping slumped over him had ceased to glow, the sun was about the climb over the horizont and from the corner of his eye Arthur eyed the magical stone. It seemed to laugh at him.


Needing to go now, so sorry for the rushed ending. Hope your imagination can fill the rest^^

Re: Arhur/Merlin Sex magic/rituals made them do it

[cinnatart.livejournal.com]

YAY for Arthur knows about Merlin's magic fic! \o/

Riding double on Hengroen makes them do it! (nc17) Part 1/3

[myashke.livejournal.com]

(my first comment!porn!!)

[Part 1/3]


Ahorse


A warm, heavy wind whips Arthur's cloak up and back, snapping it against Hengroen's flanks as they ride slowly down a path some distance from the main road. A storm is gathering quickly overhead, casting a pale blue light over the tree-filled landscape. They're a couple of leagues from Camelot still, but Arthur knows Hengroen spooks easily in storms. The forest around them should help shield them from it a little, at least.

He’d sent the knights on ahead to the citadel with news of their victory. They’d been anxious to beat the torrential rain that was sure to catch Merlin and Arthur out in the open and Arthur hadn’t seen reason to slow their return.

Merlin is asleep in the saddle before him, leaning heavily back against Arthur’s chest. He'd been so drained after fighting the swarm of wyverns that he hadn't even mumbled a word of protest as Arthur maneuvered him onto Hengroen's back and climbed up behind him. His arms wrapped tightly around Merlin's waist, he'd pulled Merlin to him, pressed Merlin's head back to his shoulder.

Arthur's concern eases a bit as Merlin groans, his hips beginning to rock up and back on the saddle, arse pressing hard to Arthur's groin on every back-stroke.

Merlin’s face turns, burying in against Arthur’s neck, lips moving just under Arthur’s ear. “Arthur,” he whispers sleepily, and Arthur has to close his eyes and grit his teeth.

He holds perfectly still except for the hand that flies to Merlin’s hip, pushing him forward and holding him there. He cannot stop the blood that rushes to his cock. His body’s been days without Merlin’s touch, without that beautiful, full mouth on his own, but Merlin would never be so free with himself were he awake.

“Merlin,” he says, his voice croaking with desire, then tries again, this time clearing his throat and leaning back so Merlin’s body jerks to keep balance. “Merlin, wake up.”

“Hm?” he mumbles, shifting dangerously on the saddle. Arthur tightens his hold and pulls Merlin back to him, groaning at the contact but unwilling to let Merlin fall.

“Careful,” he warns, turning his face a little so he’s sure Merlin will hear him. “You were dreaming and the storm’s on the verge of breaking.”

Merlin inhales deeply and turns his head, smiling and arching against Arthur’s chest. “Mmm, I was having the most amazing dream.” Pressing back against Arthur’s arousal, he quietly asks, “How many days has it been?”

Re: Riding double on Hengroen makes them do it! (nc17) Part 1/3

[myashke.livejournal.com]

[Part 2/3]


“Four,” Arthur answers, his voice a broken whisper. “If Hengroen wasn’t already exhausted and so damned skittish in storms, we’d be in Camelot already,” he says, knowing Merlin will understand his meaning. In Camelot, in Arthur’s rooms, in his bed.

Merlin covers the hand on his hip and guides it down between his legs, head thrown back on Arthur’s should, lips parting as he draws in a shuddering breath. “Touch me,” he breathes, one hand reaching back, squeezing Arthur’s buttock, pulling him closer.

“Now?” he whispers, hips shifting against Merlin’s involuntarily.

“Please?” Long, thin fingers curl around his own, drawing his hand up and down over Merlin’s arousal, then up under the worn blue tunic and across his chest, Arthur’s nipples tightening in sympathy as he rubs his thumb hard over Merlin’s.

Merlin’s lips are warm and wet against his neck, working along his jaw, his earlobe, craning to meet his as Arthur growls low in his throat and takes Merlin’s mouth, unable to stop or care if they’re seen.

The wind is like another set of hands, working in under their cuffs and collars, combing through their hair and sucking their panting breaths away.

He rakes his fingernails down Merlin’s chest and stomach, jerking the laces of his trousers open and dipping inside to pull Merlin free. Arthur fists him tightly, swallowing Merlin’s gasp and tightening his thighs around Hengroen’s body, the horse taking the squeeze as a cue to move faster.

The faster rhythm of hoof-beats rocks them together, Merlin groaning and pushing his hips back against Arthur’s aching arousal, the relief of the hard pressure short-lived as Merlin slides forward, up into the tight sheath of his fist and then back again.

Merlin pulls away from their kiss, head thrown back on Arthur’s shoulder, moaning and gasping as he lifts his hand, threads his fingers into Arthur’s hair and shifts back, this time holding still and hard against Arthur’s straining cock.

He wants to bend Merlin forward, watch as Merlin’s fingers twist into the horse’s main and jerk his trousers down, slip his thick, aching arousal into Merlin’s arse and fuck him right there in the saddle, the leather hard and smooth beneath their spread legs.

It’s what he sees when he closes his eyes and strokes Merlin hard, fast, moaning as he sucks his fingers and shoves his hand down between their tightly-pressed bodies and into Merlin’s trousers, fingers slipping, pressing, curling up and inside Merlin’s hot, tight entrance.

“Oh, God,” Merlin breathes, rocking his hips. “I can’t believe… God. More.”

Arthur gives it to him, tighter, harder, deeper, turning his head to whisper into Merlin’s ear. “Fuck yourself,” he breathes and Merlin obeys, gently rocking back onto his fingers and up through his fist. “Harder,” he order desperately, biting Merlin’s jaw, moaning as Merlin’s mouth turns to meet his.

"Pink unicorns made them do it! - #2" :) (H/D) part 1

[vaysh11.livejournal.com]

Me and dysonrules apparently share our inspirational source. :)

Pink unicorns made them do it.

Face smashed into the moss-grown wall, Harry turned sideways for air, mostly, and to get a look at Malfoy who was thrusting into him at a relentless pace. Sweat was dripping from the strands of hair that had fallen into Malfoy's face. He was flushed pink, panting raggedly into Harry's ear. Malfoy shifted and managed to hit Harry's prostrate again. A groan, too loud and embarrassingly needy, was ripped from Harry's throat as stars burst before his eyes. Not much longer now, and he'd spill, untouched, all over the bricks.

"Who'd ever thought you're such ... such a good fuck," Malfoy rasped as he slammed into Harry with a force that Harry was sure neither of them had expected just half an hour ago.

A drink, Malfoy had said, just to talk. Talk not fight, he'd meant. Sex had been furthest from Harry's mind when he'd stepped into the Leaky, a couple of minutes late. Malfoy, of course, was already there, punctual to the dot, dressed impeccably in his grey solicitor's robes. Harry rarely got a glimpse of Malfoy outside of the courtroom, but he just knew Malfoy would never have donned those laced-up, billowing robes if he'd set out to seduce Harry and fuck him against a wall.

Apparently it didn't even take Ogden's for them to come together like this. A bit of Malfoy's snark, one silly Auror and one lawyer joke, and Harry loosening the top buttons of his shirt was enough. One moment, Malfoy was all business, offering to get them drinks, the next his eyes went dark and he pointed with his pointy chin towards the door in the back. The darkness in the hallway helped because that's when Malfoy pulled Harry towards him and claimed his mouth like a starving man. And surely they'd have come right there in their pants if Harry didn't have a thing for touching cock and knew a wandless spell that got rid of all those buttons and lacings that kept Malfoy's cock hidden from him. Malfoy's cock was big and dark pink and so hard that Harry all but drooled when he finally got his hands in it.

But Malfoy apparently didn't have a hand job in mind. He stilled Harry's strokes with a moan and a kiss, he shoved Harry out of the Leaky and into the walled-in yard, ripping at his shirt and trousers to smack him straight into the wall. They only had spit and precome for lube, and it hurt so much that Harry wanted to scream. But then Malfoy had pressed him into the wall, his body warm and heavy against him, and all Harry had wanted was to be fucked senseless.

Re: "Pink unicorns made them do it! - #2" :) (H/D) part 2

[vaysh11.livejournal.com]

That had been perhaps three minutes ago. Three minutes of agonising bliss, nothing like Harry had ever felt before. He'd never thought he'd craved Malfoy's fingers on his prick, or that he couldn't keep on living if Malfoy didn't thrust deeper into him. He thought so now, and because all speech had left him he grabbed Malfoy's hands and wrapped them around his cock. It earned him a bite in the neck and a thrust that felt like it split his arse open wide. Harry couldn't help but let his head fall back, he was shaking so hard. Malfoy was licking at his skin with quick, hungry licks, he was thrusting wildly, loosing their rhythm, but tossing Harry off with fast, tight strokes that made Harry want to push into his fist while his hips pressed backward to pull Malfoy deeper into him.

"Goin' to come," Malfoy moaned, and his strokes became erratic, too slow, too fast. But it didn't matter because Harry was so close, his body taut and trembling, ready to spill. He turned his head, searching for Malfoy's mouth, his wet tongue ...

And that's when he saw them. Three of them, unheard of, a pink streak painted across the sky. Their silver horns and hooves glittered like the sea at dawn, their wings shone like rose-tipped sails. Pink unicorns were flying through the sky.

"Malfoy," Harry whispered, "Malfoy ... look ..." He was floating on a pink cloud of need, hovering on an edge that he'd be falling over any moment now, any ...

With a last forceful thrust Malfoy hit Harry's prostrate full on. It made the pink explode into gold before Harry's eyes. His hole was clenching around Malfoy's cock, slippery hands seemed to be touching him everywhere, he was being breached and so incredibly full. Harry couldn't help but let everything go and spill, spill in hot, sharp spurts – into Malfoy's hands, against the bricks.

Later back in the Leaky – after they'd cleaned themselves up and kissed some more, lazy, wet kisses that promised more but not now – Harry told Malfoy about the unicorns.

"Pink?" Malfoy gave him a look that said Harry surely had lost his mind. "Potter, don't tell me our Head Auror is seeing pink unicorns during the most amazing sex he'd ever had?"

"I swear, they were flying across the sky. And by the way, I expect even more mind-blowing sex later in your bed."

"I thought we said your place?"

"No, Malfoy, damn it, I told you the kids are at Grimmauld Place this weekend. There is no way I'll bring a bloke home when Lily is around."

"But you expect me to deal with Mother who isn't even aware of the fact that her son bats for the other team."

"...!"

"...?!"

Hexes were thrown. Three whiskey glasses were shattered by wild magic. Tom threw them out after that. The night was spent at Claridge's, the price of the suite split even if Malfoy had another fit about that. Harry was pierced for the second time the night, naked and well-lubed, in a bed as soft as down and wide like the ocean. The mind-blowing sex shut Malfoy up, and Harry got to touch and squeeze and stroke Malfoy's cock as long as he wanted to. The pink unicorns wheeled above the hotel for a while, then - when both men had finally fallen asleep - they vanished from the London skies.

In Which Sharing a Bed Made Them Do It (Arthur/Merlin)

[lycoris.livejournal.com]

Merlin was asleep on him.

Arthur couldn’t quite believe it. Which probably meant he was an idiot. How had he not realised that Merlin always did everything in a way that was totally annoying? Even sleep. Why couldn’t he have learned to sleep without taking up so much space?

Of course, Arthur usually slept rather sprawled out. But that was different. He was a prince. He could sleep however he wanted.

Merlin made an undignified snoring noise and snuggled. Arthur stared at him disbelievingly. He was being snuggled by his idiot manservant who was only sharing a bed with him anyway because Arthur was so ridiculously kind and generous that he couldn’t make himself leave Merlin on the floor of this stupid place.

He probably should have made Merlin share with Gwaine instead.

Merlin was drooling on him. His leg had hooked over Arthur’s now and he was being ridiculously intimate and the whole thing was embarrassing. And a little arousing.

“Merlin,” Arthur said firmly. “Wake up. Now.”

Merlin opened bleary eyes and stared at him as though he didn’t understand why Arthur was waking him. Arthur did his best to glare.

“You are nuzzling,” he said, disapprovingly.

“Sorry about that,” Merlin yawned. “Can I go back to sleep now?”

He was already laying his head back down on Arthur’s shoulder. Arthur prodded him crossly and Merlin made an annoyed noise, as though Arthur was being unreasonable about all this!

“You are asleep on me,” he said.

“You’re comfy,” Merlin said as though this settled the matter.

Arthur tried to glare him into submission. Merlin stared at him sleepy eyes then smiled his ridiculously goofy smile and wriggled.

“Oh,” he said. “That’s why you’re so grouchy!”

“What?” Arthur protested. “No! Stop that! That’s nothing to do with it! You are stealing my space!”

Merlin was looking rather smug now as though this was something to do with him when really it was just because Merlin was … well, there. Draped on him. Like an idiot. A … confusing idiot.

“Hey I want to go back to sleep,” Merlin said, with a sigh that was clearly faked. “I suppose I’ll just have to sort you out so I can do that, right?”

Arthur blinked at him. That sounded surprisingly reasonable really. Maybe Merlin wasn’t quite the total idiot that Arthur always thought he was.

“Oh, all right then,” he said, as carelessly as he could. “Just make it quick.”

Merlin didn’t make it quick. Merlin made it very, very slow. And somehow, Arthur found that he didn’t really mind.

Re: In Which Sharing a Bed Made Them Do It (Arthur/Merlin)

[ella-bane.livejournal.com]

HEE! I love this! ♥ It's amazingly adorable.

Arthur/Merlin - A horny tentacle monster made them do it!

[lassroyale.livejournal.com]

How you want to do it, authors! I can be dub-con or non-con or hey, maybe the Tentacle Monster of Lore is actually a friendly and kindly beast who is just trying to get two lusty chaps laid?

Re: Arthur/Merlin - A horny tentacle monster made them do it!

[marguerite-26.livejournal.com]

I approve of this request.

H/D: Resurrected with ancient veela magic Snape makes them do it

[chantefable.livejournal.com]

Summary: Resurrected with ancient veela magic Snape makes them do it. (Don't look at me that way – phoenixacid and potteresque_ire made me do it! I remember it vividly. I think…)


It's a dark, dark night.

In a dark, dark room there's a dark, dark shape. It stirs and it mutters (darkly), it jerks and it sputters.

Wildly.

It's a dark, dark night; there are dark, dark things happening. In a dark, dark room there's a dead, dead man clutching his neck with bony fingers because being bitten by malicious magical snakes hurts like hell, in case any of you wondered, and he has obviously been revived by a completely inept dunderhead who cannot tell their wand from an anal thermometer, oh, the horror, oh, the cramps, oh, the splitting headache.

These are dark, dark times, witches and gentlewizards.

On a dark, dark night – not a single star in sight – our dead, dead man is wondering. Of course, death is inevitable if it's Dumbledore's plan – that's not what confuses the dead, dead man. In the dark, dark room there are hushed, hushed voices.

The Battle is over.

Interesting.

In the dark, dark room there are hushed, hushed voices.

They have won.

Oh, that's a relief.

In the dark, dark room there are dark, dark shapes on the floor. On the dirty old floor of the Shrieking Shack. There are dark, dark shapes twisting and turning, wrestling and rolling, stretching and straining, arching and moaning.

On the dirty old floor of the Shrieking Shack.

Oh, honestly.

After all the dark, dark, dark magic and the dark, dark, secret missions – to die like a hero.

After the bloody idiot Chosen One decided to tussle with the bloody idiot one quarter veela luckless idiot Death Eater whelp, thus unleashing ancient revitalising magical energies of virgin veela sexual initiation – to be resurrected as collateral damage?

Bugger that.

Our dead, dead man has his own secret plan: quietly, very quietly, he slips out – out – out into the dark, dark night.

We shall keep this dark, dark secret, witches and gentlewizards.

Re: H/D: Resurrected with ancient veela magic Snape makes them do it

[snarkyscorp.livejournal.com]

Wow, this was an awesome little fic, darling. I love the tone - both humourous and kind of dark too in places. :D Lovely!

So... Pretend boyfriends at a boozy party made them do it?

[social-retard86.livejournal.com]

"We're not really," Merlin gestured vaguely across the living room to where Arthur was perched on the arm of a sofa chatting, "a couple, you know. It's, er, a bit of a funny story."

The girl Merlin was talking to, she was pretty and small and blonde, smiled indulgently. 

"Oh?" she said. 

Merlin squinted at her and suddenly realised he'd had too much to drink.

"Yeah, no, because we had to pretend for this party."

"Why?" the girl - what was her name? - asked. 

"Arthur, right," Merlin laughed and scuffed his foot along a groove in the parquet floor. "He had a messy breakup with Vivian, you know her?"

The girl looked blank. 

"Anyway, so it was messy and she's still into him and we had to come to this party, because it's Gwen's birthday, but we knew she'd be here so... pretend boyfriends!"

"Really?" The girl said, looking to their right. 

Merlin followed her gaze and found Arthur staring at them. He grinned and waved, Arthur smiled back. They watched as he touched the girl he was talking to on the shoulder, casually excusing himself, and ambled over. 

"Alright there?" he asked, close to Merlin's ear, and slipped an arm around his waist to rest. 

"Yeah," Merlin couldn't stop grinning, his face was being uncooperative. "'S alright, I told... thingy here-"

"- Nicola."

"Yes," Merlin pointed at her emphatically. "Nicola. Nicola here about how we're faking to fool Viv." 

"Merlin," Arthur was smiling like he was simple and rested his forehead against Merlin's temple. "How much have you had to drink?" 

"What?" Merlin asked. "Just this cup!" 

"Give me tha - WHOA," Arthur made a face as he caught a whiff of the cup. "How strong was this?" 

"I don't know, I'm no good with measures so Tricks made it for me."

"Tricks," Arthur said. 

"Yes, TRI - oh," Merlin burped. "Oh shit, did I fuck up?" 

They both looked at Nicola, who held up her hand. "Hey, I know noone here, just came with my boyfriend. I won't tell." 

"The thing is," Arthur said, sounding very reasonable and pulling Merlin in closer to his side. "Er... Merlin?"

"I was lying," Merlin slurred. "I'm a bad boyfriend. Terrible." He paused to burp again. "I don't know why he puts up with me. Whiff of a barmaids apron -"

"A whiff!" Arthur emphasised. 

"Yeah, and I'm forgetting about my adorable boyfriend, here," he patted Arthur's cheek. "Bloody gorgeous, isn't he?" He slung an arm around Arthur's neck and beamed at Nicola proudly. 

"Very handsome, yeah," she nodded, glancing over their shoulders. "I don't suppose Vivian is a blonde?"

"Yeah, why?" Arthur said, lacing his fingers through Merlin's where they rested on his shoulder. 

"Er," Nicola said and looked like she was about to warn them about something but then,

"What the hell is going on here?" 

Vivian. Tricks was behind her and Gwen was looking on in horror from the doorway. 

"Er," Merlin said, looking back for Nicola and finding her gone. Fair play, he thought. 

"Nothing," Arthur said. "Why?" 

"You and..." she gestured at him. "Him?" 

"Er," Merlin said again. Arthur rolled his eyes. 

"Wait, or is he just really drunk?" she squinted at him, expression clearing. 

"Well, yes, he is really drunk," Arthur said, ignoring Merlin's huff of indignation. "But I'm also... you know, with him."

"WHAT?" 

"I give excellent he-" Merlin started but was then cut off by a hand over his mouth. Arthur's hand. 

Re: So... Pretend boyfriends at a boozy party made them do it?

[social-retard86.livejournal.com]

"I've been lying to myself for too long, Vivian," he said. "I should thank you, it was when we were together that I began to realise... It's Merlin. It's always been Merlin. We're, er, engaged."

"Two men can't get engaged," Tricks piped up, all slime and patronising tone.

"Fine," Arthur glared. "We're... civil-partnershipped-to-be or whatever."

"Yeah," Merlin glared. "Or whatever."

"That's ludicrous! You can't have been together more than three months!" Vivian screeched. 

"Well we wanked together once at school and that was... I dunno, fuckin' years ago," Merlin laughed to himself and grinned at Arthur soppily. "Hey, shall we make that our anniversary?" 

"Yeah," Arthur smiled back, squeezing his hand. "Great idea."

"You're... sick," Vivian spat. "Sick and perverse and..." 

"OI!" came a booming voice from across the room. A big man, who Merlin didn't recognise but who nodded at Arthur, put his drink down on a side table pointedly and strode over. "So being gay is sick and perverse, is it?" 

"Er," Vivian's eyes widened and she looked to Tricks for support but he was suddenly more interested in the floor. "No! That's not what I meant!"

"Sounded like it to me," the man shifted on the spot, folding his massive arms over his chest and cocking his head. 

"It's alright, Perc. It's fine, let it go."

"You sure, Arthur?" Percy stared Vivian down. 

"Yeah," Arthur said, looking smug. 

A hand landed on Vivian's shoulder.

"I think you'd better go," Gwen said gently, eyes sympathetic because that's Gwen all over. "Don't you?" 

"Yeah," she nodded and then looking back at Arthur, "I -" she stopped, shook her head and turned away. 

She walked towards the door, he heels clacking loud in the now mostly silent room, and then as she was about to leave she turned. 

"Call me?" she said in a small hopeful voice, before Tricks shoved her through the doorway and out of the flat. 

Arthur waved awkwardly.

"Man," Merlin muttered beside him. "Some people never give up."

"Do you really?" Arthur asked then, because he wasn't actually sober himself. 

"Do I what?" Merlin looked confused. 

"Give good head."

"Oh!" Merlin laughed. "Oh yeah! Well, as far as I'm told." Merlin frowned. "Well I sucked off Will once, when I was experimenting. You remember Will? Anyway, he said it was-"

"Shut up," Arthur said, suddenly not wanting details. 

"But -"

"I said," Arthur walked him back into the wall, the party back to full force around them. He leaned in close until they were inches apart. "Shut up."

"Wait," Merlin said, a hand pushing on Arthur's chest. "Is this for real?"

"Yeah."

"So you meant -?"

"Yes."

"Me?" 

Merlin's hand dropped and his eyes widened. Arthur allowed himself to lean fully against him.

"You." Arthur said. "Always you." 

"Oh."  

They'd never kissed before. For all their mutual wanks and porn watching, they'd never actually kissed. It felt like he'd swallowed a ball of electricity and it was sparking off in all directions inside his belly. It was a soft, gentle exploration but then Merlin felt Arthur's tongue, tentatively licking his lip, and he moaned. Arthur pressed in suddenly and Merlin found his mouth opening at the dig of fingers on his scalp and then -

"GUYS!" Gwen shouted in their ears. 

They ripped apart, flushed and breathless. 

"Maybe go home?" she suggested. 

"But it's only," Arthur checked his watch. "Midnight. Right. Home." Arthur looked at Merlin, head disheveled and pupils blown. "Yours or mine?" 

"Yours. You have bacon."

"See, Merlin, this is why it's always been you," Arthur laughed, guiding him to the door with a hand at the small of his back. 

"I'm always thinking," Merlin grinned. 

"Not tonight, you're not," Arthur said, eyes fixed on his mouth. 

"Fair point," Merlin replied, breathless. "Taxi?"

"Thought you'd never ask."

Al/Scorpius- Draco Being A Homophobe Made Them Do It, Part 1

[ginger-veela.livejournal.com]

"Okay. That went well."

Al brushed the soot off the sleeves of his dress robes and stepped out of the Floo into the sitting room. Scorpius followed seconds later, tossing his outer robe over the back of their sofa.

"In what universe could that be considered 'well'?" He strode straight to the liquor cabinet, poured himself a shot of Firewhisky, and downed it in one swallow.

Al shrugged. "At least your father didn't Castrato me on sight."

Scorpius scowled. "If Father were going to hex anyone's balls off, they'd be mine. I'm the deviant of the family, remember?"

"And I'm the evil Potter spawn who turned his only son queer."

A smile tugged at Scorpius's lips. "That you did." His smile faded. "He wasn't supposed to be there tonight."

"Husbands do have a way of showing up at their wives's charity events."

"Not Father. He hasn't come to the St. Mungo's Dinner Dance since...." Scorpius's eyes narrowed. "Mother."

Al smoothed his hands up Scorpius's chest. "Don't be angry with her. You can't blame her for trying to broker a truce."

"She knows damned well I want nothing to do with him." Scorpius poured himself another shot and clutched it to his chest.

Al took the glass from Scorpius and set it aside. He turned Scorpius around and rubbed his shoulders. "There's still time for him to come around. The wedding's a long way off."

"And what if he doesn't?" Scorpius's voice quivered.

"He will. He hasn't any choice, if he wants you in his life." Al tugged the end of Scorpius's bow tie, loosening it, and unfastened the buttons of Scorpius's shirt one by one. "Don't let him get to you."

Scorpius frowned. "I can't help it. Father's great talent is sowing misery."

Al nuzzled the back of Scorpius's neck. "Maybe I can help you feel a little less miserable." He pressed his cock against the cleft of Scorpius's arse, rutting against him through their woolen trousers.

"Forget it. I'm not in the mood."

"I'll get you in the mood." Al reached around Scorpius, unbuckled his belt, and undid his zip, letting his trousers fall to the floor. A few tugs and Scorpius's pants followed. Al knelt behind him.

"Spread your legs."

"Can't," Scorpius replied, his breath already coming faster. "My trousers...."

Al helped Scorpius step out of the pool of fabric around his ankles. He reached for the glass of Firewhisky on the sideboard and sipped from it, letting the liquid linger on his tongue for a moment, then spread Scorpius's arsecheeks and leaned forward.

"Fuck," Scorpius gasped, grabbing the sideboard and bending over. "It burns...."

Al chuckled. "Relax." He lapped Scorpius's hole with slow, steady strokes. Scorpius cupped his balls with one hand and steadied himself with the other, moaning in time with the movements of Al's tongue. He closed his eyes, sliding his fingers up his rapidly-filling prick; the image of Al on his knees behind him, face buried in his arse and Al's monster cock tenting the front of his trousers, sent a shudder of pleasure through him. He swirled his palm over the crown, smearing slick wetness down his shaft. Al pulled away.

"What are you doing?" Scorpius whinged.

Al reached for the glass on the sideboard again. "Refueling." He downed the remainder of the whisky and spread Scorpius's cheeks again.

"Oh..."

Tears sprang to Scorpius eyes as the furled length of Al's tongue penetrated him, the burning at once unbearable and exquisite in its intensity. All his cares vanished, replaced by the immediacy of Al's probing tongue, the tingling heat, the heaviness of his balls, the urgency of his need. He heard the zip of Al's trousers, the rustling of fabric that meant Al was freeing his cock from its confines, followed by the squelch of lube. Scorpius turned around.

"Where'd you get that?"

Al grinned up at him, mouth glistening. "Been carrying it around all night. Thought we might sneak off to the loo for a shag if the speeches got too boring."

Re: Al/Scorpius- Draco Being A Homophobe Made Them Do It, Part 1

[snarkyscorp.livejournal.com]

nngggggg, where's the rest???? The part where Al fucks him stupid?? Or the part when Harry walks in and sees them but doesn't stop them and makes them do it faster. God, I need to get some tonight.

This was way too hot. Loved it!

Me too Me too!!!!!: H/D—"Pink unicorns made them do it!"... No. 3 (1/2)

[potteresque_ire]

(Hee hee, so late to the party! :D ...And I blame extreme tiredness for this piece of, er, literature. :P)

Once upon the time, there was a hero, his sidekick with whom the hero had had a lot of gay subtext prior to the story, and a villain.

The villain had a beautiful mane and a more beautiful horn—long, with a generous girth and ivory smooth— that spoke of the envy's he'd developed from his previous incarnate. He still preferred something bendy for a pet though, as attested by the rainbow he was trotting upon.

"Mwahahahahaha!!!!" Oh, even his laugh was pure evil! Sparkly stars were sprinkling from his mouth, as he wrote on the rainbow "I AM PUK' IN CORN!"

"Er," said the hero, eloquently as always.

"Corn? How plebian," drawled his sidekick, haughtily as always.

Angered, the villain stomped his hooves—a pretty burst of stars blinded their vision—and the letters rearranged themselves. "I AM PINK UNICORN!"

The sidekick rolled his eyes.

"I thought there were only seven horcruxes," said the hero.

"I flunked math in school!" The unicorn squeaked menacingly. "I was too busy being a beach boy and playing with other children!"

"Right," replied the hero, who contemplated for a moment while the villain waited patiently for him to come up with a lame plan to defeat him; being skilled at time management, it'd planned its next soliloquy too. But the hero took his bloody time, as always, and he turned to his sidekick afterwards. "I'd say we get rid of him. You've got some Love in your pocket we can use?"

From said pocket, his sidekick pulled out a mirror and checked himself out the upteenth time since Pink Unicorn had appeared. "Nope. The Ministry classified it a WMD and burned it all, all in a cauldron full of hot strong love." He hummed the last words.

"Oh, so no love then." The hero pushed his glasses up his nose. "'Suppose we'll just make some."

His sidekick threw the the mirror aside and dropped his pants. "Okay."

"Draco!" The hero cried. "You can't just expose yourself like this... what if, what if...?"

The storm gray eyes warmed and burned, like lint in an overheated dryer. "It's such a prized possession, you think the Dark Lord will turn it into a Horcrux?"

The hero blushed and nodded.

The sidekick blinked back tears. "Then I guess I'll redeem myself." He hopped a step towards the villain, his pants bundled between his knees and his soon-to-be Horcrux raising its head, tall and proud as it bobbed between his thighs.

But then, something stopped him. "We never shook hands," he said, turning back towards the hero. "You never said you'd stopped hating me. You never confessed you're obsessed with me rather than Quidditch."

"I did say the last thing, remember?" The hero worried his lips, reached out and give his sidekick's proud member a squeeze. "And I can tell the right sort for myself, always can, even if it took several awkward moments with Ginny," he whispered. "I never hated you."

The sidekick sighed, pulled himself away (and moaned a little) as he was about to resume his road to redemption. He paused, once more. "I forgot something else," he said, lifting the sleeve of his shirt to show an unmarked forearm. "La."

The hero gasped.

The sight, the realization were so mind-shattering that even the villain lost it—its patience, that was. It charged and attacked the sidekick with its horn, tried to knock him down and..

...The next thing, the hero's sidekick was riding the horn in wild abandon.

"I'll bring back glory to my family name!!" The sidekick rose his arms towards the stars and drawled, as only an angsty, dramatic and horny anti-hero could. "No need for charity balls or Portkeys to France!"

The unicorn tried to swing him off. It couldn't, its motions only making the sidekick scream louder. Wilder.

Meanwhile, the hero...

The hero.. he could hear his heart break, like split into halves by Sectumsempra, which, shit, he'd forgotten to ask for forgiveness. He didn't mean to sacrifice his sidekick like this! And he'd said "making love", he hadn't mean it like this... no, he had meant it like this, except...except..



TBC

Me too Me too!!!!!: H/D—"Pink unicorns made them do it!"... No. 3 (2/2)

[potteresque_ire]

CRACK!!!

His sidekick fell into a heap on the ground. The unicorn, now a zerocorn, covered his now-hornless, nose-less face with his mane and fled, yanking the rainbow to retreat behind him.

The hero ran to kneel beside his sidekick. "I.. Draco... how could you," he held him against his chest, unable to hold back tears from his emerald eyes, like rain dripping from traffic lights. "You're an arsehole, but my arsehole and mine only."

His sidekick's lips curved into a smile. "Then hold yourself to your own word, Harry. Make me yours." He wiggled his arse a little, showing off the length still protruding from it. "I'm still so horny."

The hero laughed and lightly slapped the arse cheeks, which made his sidekick moan. Then the hero and the sidekick made love. Lots and lots of love. Soon there was so much passionate love on their four-post bed, in their suddy-soaped shower, in the poorly noise-insulated Auror office and everywhere they went that the Pink Unicorn never came to bother them or the world again, and the Ministry officially honored them as a WMD and presented them a cauldron as a wedding gift. As for the unicorn horn, they kept as a keepsake, like the hero's scar on his forehead but much more practical, being long, with a generous girth and ivory smooth...

But not like the scar, if they didn't prepare well, it still hurt, sometimes.

So, everything worked out just fine—all was well, as one who'd wish to hastily end a story and collect her fees would say, and the hero and his sidekick lived happily ever after.


~Fin

Arthur/Merlin, body heat makes them do it 1/2

[mabonwitch.livejournal.com]

They've called off the hunt and pitched tents but despite the fires, Merlin is still blue around the edges. Arthur grumbles and bullies him into their tent, stripping him down over his protests. "Shut up," Arthur commands gruffly. "I won't have you freezing." He rubs Merlin down, trying to get rid of the rain, and worries over his shaking. After a moment's thought, Arthur takes of his red cloak and rolls Merlin into it. There. Perhaps that will do the trick.

For awhile, Merlin is silent. Arthur isn't wearing mail, and he is perfectly capable of taking off his own sword belt, thank you, so there is no need for Merlin to serve him tonight. He listens as Merlin's breathing evens out. Once Arthur is satisfied that Merlin is asleep, he settles himself to doze.

It can't be much longer after that that he jerks awake to Merlin's teeth chattering once again. He frowns in the dark. There are no extra blankets; even the tent is a concession to Arthur's rank. His knights are out there making do with cloaks and whatever cover they can make with an axe and tree branches. If Merlin is shaking now, it will only worsen as the night goes on. Sighing, he comes to a decision. "Merlin."

"W-what?"

"Come here."

Merlin shuffles over. "D-do you n-need-" Arthur tugs him down and wraps the cloak over both of them before Merlin can do more than squawk. "What are you doing?"

Arthur hisses as his hands find Merlin. "You're freezing," he accuses.

"Y-yes, I know," Merlin replies. "Arthur, w-what are you d-doing?!"

Arthur keeps rubbing his hands up and down Merlin's arms. "We've got to get you warm. This is the best way."

Merlin resists for another futile minute before the sense of Arthur's words sink in. Or so Arthur would like to imagine, though it is just as likely that he gives in because he indulges Arthur's stupider ideas sometimes. Arthur frowns and rubs harder. Merlin is dry by now, at least, and Arthur's own body heat fills the space under the cloak. Merlin huffs, goose pimples forming under Arthur's fingers.

"I'm fine," Merlin says eventually.

Arthur pulls him into a loose embrace. "Idiot," he grumbles. Even to his own ears, it sounds more like, Don't scare me like that. Merlin, for once, doesn't say anything.

Re: Arthur/Merlin, body heat makes them do it 1/2

[marguerite-26.livejournal.com]

YES YES YES!!! Now where's part 2??? *grabby hands*

Arthur/Merlin, Merlin not believing Arthur is as amazing in bed as he claims made them do it

[kim47.livejournal.com]

"Well, let's just say she left extremely... satisfied," Arthur concluded, giving Merlin what he clearly considered to be a roguish wink.

"Yes, yes, I'm sure," Merlin replied absently, occupied with collecting Arthur's clothes, clearly flung across the room in the heat of passion the night before. He'd listened to Arthur declaiming on the subject of good he was in bed far too many times for this conversation to be even remotely engaging.

"I mean, I'm not one to really talk about such things," Arthur continued, causing Merlin to roll his eyes, "but I was certainly on my game last night."

"Mmm," Merlin agreed noncommittally. He finished gathering up Arthur's clothes, stilling for a minute, trying to decide whether he could be bothered to actually clean them properly or just use magic once Arthur had left. Magic, he decided, was the way to go. He was vaguely aware of Arthur still talking in the background, but he paid him no attention until -

"Merlin."

He looked up, surprised to find Arthur standing less than three feet away, a familiar irritated look marring his admittedly handsome face. Not that Merlin thought of him as handsome. Well, except when he did.

"Arthur?" he replied cautiously, trying to work out what he'd done wrong this time.

"Tell me, Merlin, do you doubt my... skills in certain areas? Because I assure you, all of my partners have been very... vocal in their pleasure."

Merlin considered this for a moment. He spotted the flaw in Arthur's logic and hastened to point it out to him. Merlin considered it one of his duties to argue with Arthur and tell him he was wrong as much as possible. It was all in Arthur's best interests.

"Well, yes, but you're the prince are you?"

"Oh well spotted Merlin," Arthur returned acidly. "What of if?"

"Well they're hardly going to want to appear unsatisfied are they? Might not be good for their prospects," Merlin explained. He knew the moment the words came out that they were a mistake. Arthur looked livid.

"Are you saying that they, they - that they're pretending?" he spluttered, his face crimson with rage or embarrassment.

Merlin knew he shouldn't provoke Arthur even more. But it was such fun.

He shrugged.

"What?" Arthur practically yelled.

"Maybe," Merlin began, preparing to deliver the death blow. He considered that he should probably feel bad for getting so much enjoyment out of riling Arthur up. "Maybe you're not as amazing in bed as you think you are."

Arthur stared at him for a moment, mouth hanging slack. Merlin congratulated himself on having struck Arthur dumb with rage. It wasn't an easy feat to accomplish.

Then, before Merlin could quite process what was going on, Arthur was pressing him against the wall and attacking his mouth, his hands under Merlin's shirt, stroking the skin of his back before dipping below his waistband. He seemed to be muttering something about showing you just how good I am. Merlin considered this unexpected turn of events for a moment, before shrugging mentally and kissing Arthur back. Merlin was nothing if not adaptable.

***

Some time later, Merlin and Arthur lay panting on Arthur's bed, arms brushing against each other, trying to regain their breath. Merlin was feeling boneless and content, the day having taken a much better turn than he'd ever anticipated.

Soon, Arthur rolled onto his side, propping his head up on his hand and tracing lazy patterns on Merlin's stomach.

"Well then," he grinned. "Satisfied?"

Merlin thought for a moment.

"It was okay."

Arthur stared at him.

"Okay?" he growled.

Merlin smiled.

"Looks like you'll just have to try again," he said, making his eyes wide and innocent.

Arthur eyed him for a long moment, his blue eyes a mixture of confusion, suspicion and possibly just the tiniest hint of affection.

"Looks like it," he agreed finally, and he leaned down to catch Merlin's lips in another kiss.

Re: Arthur/Merlin, Merlin not believing Arthur is as amazing in bed as he claims made them do it

[marguerite-26.livejournal.com]

ahaha!!! Fantastic! Merlin absolutely knows how to work Arthur. ;)

[joan-waterhouse.livejournal.com]

:D What a glorious GLORIOUS idea!

I'm gonna read ALL THE FICS this weekend! Hurrah!

[marguerite-26.livejournal.com]

*\o/*

hurrah!

[logans-mom00.livejournal.com]

I just wanted to say a huge THANK YOU for this brilliant idea, and especially for your master list of fics at the top - that is so helpful!!

[marguerite-26.livejournal.com]

YAY!! It was Hermette's idea to turn my little list into a fest - and what a brilliant idea it was. :)

(and yes, this post is getting unmanageable without that list. LOL)

In Which a Shared Doctor Who Obsession Made them Do It

[lycoris.livejournal.com]

“So, you two had sex?” Gwaine said, raising an eyebrow and beginning to smirk.

Merlin buried his head in his arms. He’d told Gwaine because Gwaine was good about sex talk but on second thoughts, the other thing Gwaine was good at was laughing at him.

“Hey, hey, come on,” Gwaine said, far too cheerfully. “No need to be ashamed. Tell Uncle Gwaine everything.”

“Uncle Gwaine? Oh, whatever. Look, it wasn’t planned. We were just … well … we were … watching TV.”

“Oh were you?” Gwaine leered, clearly coming to all the wrong conclusions. Merlin gently banged his head on his arms.

“Not that kind of TV,” he said. “It was … we were … we were doing a Doctor Who marathon, all right?!”

Gwaine didn’t say anything. Merlin peered up at him and saw that Gwaine was staring at him as though Merlin had just said something completely and totally baffling.

“Doctor Who?” he repeated slowly.

“Yes,” Merlin said. “Doctor Who. You know? Ran from 1963 to 1989, one movie in 1996, restarted in 2005? That show? Eleven lead actors? Hundreds of episodes?”

“Yeah, I know … at least some of that,” Gwaine said dryly. “And I know you’re a cute little nerd who is into that stuff. But … Arthur Pendragon?”

Merlin didn’t blame him for being surprised. He had been amazed too when Arthur had recognised the Galifreyan symbol that Merlin had been doodling on his notes during a lecture. He’d been even more amazed when Arthur had known that the symbol had been used in a totally different episode originally, not as the Time Lords symbol at all. That was a sign of a man who knew his Who.

“So, you two … had a massive geek out together?” Gwaine said.

“Well, yes,” Merlin said. “We were talking and I sort of invited him over for a marathon.”

“Okay,” Gwaine said. “I’m … still not seeing the sexy here.”

“Well, we decided to watch all of Ten,” Merlin explained. “Well, as much of Ten as we could before we passed out. And we were watching and then I um … may have mentioned that I preferred Eleven. And Arthur … well, Arthur disagreed.”

Gwaine started laughing. He laughed so loudly that everyone in the café stared at them. Merlin slid lower down in his head, wondering if hiding under the table would make him more embarrassed or less.

“You had hate-sex over which Doctor was better?!” Gwaine finally choked out.

“Um,” Merlin said. “Well. It wasn’t quite hate-sex. But well. Yes.”

Gwaine went off into fresh peals of laughter. Merlin tried another approach and attempted to glare at him murderously until he stopped. Perhaps unsurprisingly, it didn’t work. Gwaine eventually stopped laughing by himself, wiped his face and grinned at Merlin.

“So. You two rowed your way into bed – was it any good?”

“Yes,” Merlin said with feeling. “It was fantastic.”

“And will there be a repeat performance?” Gwaine asked, raising his eyebrows cheekily.

“Well,” Merlin said. “Tonight he’s coming over to watch the rest of Ten … ”

Gwaine started to laugh again.

Re: In Which a Shared Doctor Who Obsession Made them Do It

[cinnatart.livejournal.com]

hahahahahahahahahahahahaha <3 Awesome!