marguerite_26: (tentacles made me do it)
[personal profile] marguerite_26
So what are you guys up for today? A little comment fest type thing?

The other day Hermette suggested a cliché fest based on the How to make Merlin/Arthur do it list. To which I said: YES! (because moar porn! *grabby hands*). Thank you to [livejournal.com profile] ella_bane, who agreed to be my co-host in this little fest. <3


Banner by [livejournal.com profile] hermette


Harry/Draco lovers! I have not forgotten you! I welcome you to write comment fic based on The H/D Emergency Plothole Fix List! --- Anyone willing to make me a pretty banner?

How this works:
~ Grab a cliché, trope, contrived set-up, random reason to be naked from either list and write a fic of any size. And comment with it (or a link to it) below.
~ Put the pairing and 'make them do it' reason in the subject line.
~ Multiple fills of the same cliché are very very welcome.
~ I’m not big on rules. If you want to write a cliché fic for a pairing other than Merlin/Arthur or Harry/Draco (or even a fandom other than Merlin/HP.... go right ahead. Good porn is good porn, yeah).
~ Also Porn is lovely, but not necessary. :P
~ These lists are not closed for business. Feel free to continue to add to them (in their respective posts).
ETA:
~ Feel free to comment begging for particular cliches you want written


Fics so far:

[HP]
Harry/Draco - Draco being a Veela made them do it. by [livejournal.com profile] kjp_013
Harry/Draco; Watching 'Merlin' made them do it! by [livejournal.com profile] faithwood
Harry/Draco - Pink unicorns flying through the sky made them do it! by [livejournal.com profile] dysonrules WITH ART by [livejournal.com profile] star_sailor13
Harry/Scorpius - Harry not believing Scorpius is as amazing in bed as he claims makes them do it by [livejournal.com profile] snarkyscorp
Harry/Draco -- Pink unicorns made them do it! - #2 by [livejournal.com profile] vaysh11
Harry/Draco: Resurrected with ancient veela magic Snape makes them do it by [livejournal.com profile] chantefable
Al/Scorpius- Draco Being A Homophobe Made Them Do It by [livejournal.com profile] ginger_veela [WIP!]
H/D—"Pink unicorns made them do it!"... No. 3 by [livejournal.com profile] potteresque_ire
Draco/Harry - Waking Up In Bed Together... Makes Them Do It by [livejournal.com profile] hpfangirl71
Being accused of a crime together makes them do it by [livejournal.com profile] wind_hime99



[Merlin]
Arthur/Merlin, Arthur being shirtless makes them do it by [livejournal.com profile] kim47
Arthur/Merlin, Uther makes them do it! by [livejournal.com profile] rebeccaann08 and The Sequel
Arthur/Merlin Destiny made them do it. by anon
Arthur/Merlin Destiny always makes them do it/Magic reveal makes them do it by [livejournal.com profile] lolafeist
Merlin/Arthur - Alcohol and the office party made them do it by anon
Arthur/Merlin Arthur being honourable makes them do it by [livejournal.com profile] marguerite_26 [WIP!]
Arthur/Merlin Sex magic/rituals made them do it by [livejournal.com profile] natanilik
Arthur/Merlin Riding double on Hengroen makes them do it! (nc17) by [livejournal.com profile] myashke
Arthur/Merlin - In Which Sharing a Bed Made Them Do It by [livejournal.com profile] lycoris
Arthur/Merlin - Pretend boyfriends at a boozy party made them do it by [livejournal.com profile] social_retard86
Arthur/Merlin, body heat makes them do it by [livejournal.com profile] mabonwitch [WIP!]
Arthur/Merlin, Merlin not believing Arthur is as amazing in bed as he claims made them do it by [livejournal.com profile] kim47
Merlin/Arthur, Gwaine In Which a Shared Doctor Who Obsession Made them Do It by [livejournal.com profile] lycoris
Arthur/Merlin, Full Moon makes them do it (every night) by [livejournal.com profile] mabonwitch
Arthur/Merlin, Merlin's magic continuously vanishing Arthur's pants makes them do it by [livejournal.com profile] rebbeile
Arthur/Merlin, The Heat of Battle (and various other things) make them do it. by [livejournal.com profile] gfeather
Arthur/Merlin - Arthur being awful at emotional stuff but good at physical makes them do it by [livejournal.com profile] lady_ragnell
Arthur/Merlin - Gaius recs sex as the best cure for the common whatever and makes them do it! by [livejournal.com profile] gfeather
Arthur/Merlin Walking in on Gaius and Geoffrey in the wild abandon of sodomy makes them do it. by anon
Arthur/Merlin. Excalibur makes them do it. by [livejournal.com profile] rotrude
Arthur/Merlin Horny knights make them do it. by [livejournal.com profile] sparklespiff
Arthur/Merlin - Gwen Cheating on Arthur With Lancelot Makes Them Do It by [livejournal.com profile] dornfelder


[crossovers]
Harry Potter/Morgause, accidental time-travel makes them do it by [livejournal.com profile] chantefable
Harry/Draco; Watching 'Merlin' made them do it! by [livejournal.com profile] faithwood



Wanna pimp this?
A bunch of banners below:
M/A Banner: http://i55.tinypic.com/2q3akhg.jpg


M/A Banner: http://i52.tinypic.com/10fqpdz.jpg


M/A Banner: http://i51.tinypic.com/20j6cu8.jpg


Multi-ship/Multi-fandom Banner: http://i52.tinypic.com/2607ssh.jpg


Harry/Draco Banner: http://www.hdcareerfair.de/Storage/Images/CommentFestHD.jpg

From: [identity profile] kjp-013.livejournal.com
[I don't know if this is what you meant, but I was bored so I wrote this *hides*]

Harry looked around the Great Hall with a frown on his face and a large Ogden’s in his hand. He hated balls of any sort. Well, not any sort. Just the dance-type ones. Especially the fancy-dress dance-type ones.

“Hello, Harry!”

Harry spun around quickly to face the man calling him.

“Malfoy?” he asked, disbelief clear in his voice. “And did you call me Harry? And what the fuck are you wearing?”

“It is your name,” Malfoy drawled. “And I would like you to call me Draco. What, with you being my mate and all.”

“Ah, ok.” Harry turned to move away from him when his brain caught up with the last words Malfoy had said. “What? I’m not your friend! Did you want to be friends?"

“No.” Draco vigorously shook his head. “Well, yes. But that’s not the point. You’re my mate.”

“Huh?” was all that Harry could say.

“You’re my mate,” Draco said again.

“Huh?” Harry really wished he’d stop saying it soon.
“I’m a Veela. And you’re my mate,” Draco clarified.

“You’re not! And I’m not!” Harry nodded to himself.
Draco just smiled and turned his back to Harry.

“I am. See, I have wings! And I have blond hair and I’m oh so beautiful!” Draco turned back to face Harry. “I’m a Veela!”

“You’re dressed as a Veela, yes,” Harry spoke slowly. “But you’re not a Veela. How much have you had?” he asked, looking into Draco’s glass.

Draco batted Harry’s hand away and fluttered his eyelashes at him. “I’m a Veela, you’re my mate. And I’d very much like you to fuck me now.”

Harry should have spat his drink over Draco in shock. He should have turned and fled. But he didn’t. He just looked at Draco and nodded. He nodded because Draco did have wings, he did have all that lovely blond hair and he was very beautiful. He did not nod because he’d been secretly lusting after the man before him for years. He did not nod because he was a horny teenager facing the promise of sex. Nope. He nodded because of Draco’s Veela powers.

Harry nodded once more and moved to take Draco’s hand.

“Hey, Harry!”

“Hi, Ron,” Harry groaned and spun once again to face his friend. “I’m just going to go fuck Draco for a bit. I’ll be back soon.”

“Not too soon,” Draco said, with a wink at Harry.
Harry laughed. Ron did not.

“What did you just say?” Ron asked, looking warily between Harry and Draco.

“I’m going to fuck Draco. I’ll be back later.” Harry winked back at Draco.

“Why?” Ron spluttered.

“Draco is a Veela and I am his mate,” Harry told Ron. “He needs me to fuck him now.”

“He’s not a Veela!” Ron exclaimed. “He’s just Malfoy!”

“No, Ron,” Harry patiently explained. “Look – he has wings. And the lovely blond hair. And he’s all beautiful and stuff!”

Draco was nodding his agreement. Ron was shell-shocked.

“Okay then!” Harry cheerfully called.

He grabbed Draco hand and led him away from the Hall.

Edited Date: 2011-03-04 03:16 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] marguerite-26.livejournal.com
“Not too soon,” Draco said, with a wink at Harry.
Harry laughed. Ron did not.

HAHAHA!! Very funny. I'm so glad that Harry and Draco are very much on side with this 'random excuse for fucking' thing. :DDDD

Thanks so much for playing.

prompt

Date: 2011-03-04 03:25 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] marguerite-26.livejournal.com
I totally need to see:

someone not believing the other one is as amazing in bed as they claim made them do it

please please please???

Re: prompt

Date: 2011-03-04 03:40 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] kim47.livejournal.com
Oh lord, totally seconding that. I'd write it myself if I wasn't currently writing Arthur being shirtless made them do it (one of my personal favourite tropes :D)

Harry/Draco; Watching 'Merlin' made them do it!

Date: 2011-03-04 04:00 pm (UTC)
ext_90239: (Default)
From: [identity profile] faithwood.livejournal.com
This should be a cliché. Also, dammit, woman, I should be working! Your Merlin banners and the thought of H/D porn are messing with my brain!




"Filthy muggle," Draco spat, glaring at the screen and the kingly figure of Uther Pendragon.

Harry patted Draco's knee soothingly. "I'm sure Arthur won't let Uther burn Merlin at the stake."

"Arthur is another filthy muggle," Draco said with conviction. He scowled at Arthur's close-up and his pouty expression. "Look at him. He's been Confounded. At birth. Why don't these wizards just . . ." Draco made strangling motions with his hands. Harry shot him a look and Draco hastily added, "Not that I condone such behaviour, of cour — Urgh!" Draco gasped, distracted, as Prince Arthur swallowed with difficulty, staring at his imprisoned servant. "'There's nothing I can do, Merlin.'" Draco imitated Arthur's distressed tone. "Honestly! What an arse!"

"I like Arthur," Harry said and squinted at the screen. "He's very . . . manly." He bit his bottom lip before he added, "For a blond."

Out of the corner of his eye, Harry saw Draco glaring daggers at him. Unperturbed, Harry continued, "Look at those arms." Harry all but purred as the actor portraying Arthur randomly took off his shirt. "He must work out a lot." Harry ignored the strangled sound Draco made and cried, "Oh, look! It's Morgana! You like her, don't you? She's a proper Slytherin. I suspect watching her smirk is a bit like looking in a mirror. She shares your fashion sense, too . . . What are you doing?" Harry blinked as Draco stood up.

Draco pulled off his robe. "Showing you my manliness," he growled and, in a flash, pulled out his wand.

In the next second, Harry found himself lying on the sofa, his wrists bound above his head and his clothes Vanished.

Draco took off his pants, his cheeks flushed and his eyes on fire.

Harry stretched languidly and then spread his legs, grinning. "I told you that if you watch this show with me, there'll be porn."
From: [identity profile] ella-bane.livejournal.com
OH I LOVE YOU, FAITH. LIKE REALLY A LOT.

<3 <3 <3
From: [identity profile] marguerite-26.livejournal.com
AHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!! ILUSM I CAN'T EVEN... yeah. you are utter brilliance.


"Look at him. He's been Confounded. At birth.
AHAHAHAH!!!

You didn't need to be working as much as you needed to write this fic because THE WORLD NEEDED THIS FIC!
From: [identity profile] kubrick-potter.livejournal.com
*Drool*

the actor portraying Arthur randomly took off his shirt

Best. Part. Ever.
From: [identity profile] sabriel75.livejournal.com
LOL... quite liked the confounded quote. That actually probably explains a lot. :D

There will be porn if you watch Merlin!

Re: prompt

Date: 2011-03-04 04:18 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] marguerite-26.livejournal.com
Arthur being shirtless is a fabulous plot device! I approve.

Oh, god --- that icon. LOL.
ext_90239: (Default)
From: [identity profile] faithwood.livejournal.com
*giggles and giggles*

*explains about world's needs to boss*

I'm sure he'll understand!
ext_90239: (Default)
From: [identity profile] faithwood.livejournal.com
It's the truth! LOL! Bless you, Arthur, for randomly taking off your shirt.
ext_90239: (Default)
From: [identity profile] faithwood.livejournal.com
That actually probably explains a lot. :D

Someone needs to yell Finite Incantatem at him. :D

Re: prompt

Date: 2011-03-04 04:33 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] leashy-bebes.livejournal.com
oh god...well...it's friday, right? everyone stops work early on a friday...
From: [identity profile] bleedforyou1.livejournal.com
OHMYGODTHATWASLIKESOFREAKINGAMAZING!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
From: [identity profile] kim47.livejournal.com
Merlin should have known it would only be a matter of time.

Arthur had what Merlin considered to be a frankly unhealthy predilection for sleeping shirtless. Every night, Merlin would help him undress, and put him in his sleeping shift. Every morning, without exception, Arthur would be shirtless. Usually sprawled out, golden hair falling artfully across his forehead, limbs bathed in warm, pale sunlight. Sometimes he suspected Arthur was doing it on purpose.

It made him sick.

This morning was no different.

"Late again," Arthur drawled, sitting on the edge of his bed, running calloused hands through his sleep ruffled hair.

"Yes, sire," Merlin replied through clenched teeth, setting Arthur's breakfast on the table and turning to face the prince. Arthur smirked at him.

"Well don't just stand there like an idiot, get my clothes," he ordered, standing up and stretching.

Merlin's retort was on his lips immediately, until his brain was involuntarily hijacked for the much more pleasant task of simply staring at Arthur.

It started with Arthur forcing his shoulders down, tilting his head to one side, and straining his neck, apparently trying to work out a kink it had developed in the night. He rolled his head around, grimacing slightly, hand coming up to ease the tense muscles of his neck.

Merlin was perfectly aware that he was staring, and was rather disturbed to find himself without the power to stop.

Arthur's powerful arms stretched out behind him as he linked his hands together and forced his chest out. His broad, strong chest, with just a smattering of light golden curls across it, Merlin noted a little wildly. Arthur continued to stretch, his head dropping down again, straining his neck once more. He hummed slightly, clearly finding the experience pleasurable.

He's not the only one, part of Merlin's brain supplied. He tried to frown at it, but it ignored him in favour of voicing its appreciation of Arthur's sculpted stomach.

Arthur looked up suddenly, his quite unfairly blue eyes fixed on Merlin's. They narrowed slightly, then brightened, and a small smile tugged at Arthur's lips. He brought his right hand up to his left shoulder and massaged the muscle.

"Merlin," he began, his face taking on the mischievous look which never boded well for Merlin. "Merlin, I seem to have pulled a muscle in training yesterday."

"Hmmm?" was the best Merlin could offer, distracted by the ripple of Arthur's biceps as he massaged his own shoulder.

Arthur grinned at him, a knowing, almost smug smile that Merlin had the strongest urge to kiss off his face. In fact, he had the strongest urge to kiss Arthur until he had forgotten how to be a prat entirely. It might take a long time, but Merlin was willing to put in the effort. It was for the public good, after all.

No, he told himself firmly. That's not helping.

"Rub that ointment Gaius sent up on it," he demanded, no hint of a request in his voice.

"Would it really kill you to simply ask nicely for once?" Merlin sniped back, feeling a little more at ease now that they were bickering. Nervertheless, he fetched the ointment from Arthur's dresser.

"You're my servant, Merlin. I don't have to ask you to do anything."

Arthur sat back down on the bed, his back to Merlin. Merlin now had a first class view of Arthur's back, the lines of his shoulder blades down to his waist, the bumps of his spine surprisingly visible, just begging Merlin to place kisses between each one, dropping down to his perfectly -

"Merlin!"

He jumped guiltily, and moved forward to sit behind Arthur. He carefully unscrewed the pot, trying not to look at Arthur, and rubbed the ointment over his hands, warming it.

"I'm not a girl, Merlin," Arthur whined, "Just get on with it."

Merlin was more than happy to oblige.
From: [identity profile] kim47.livejournal.com

He started slowly, just ghosting his hands over Arthur, spreading the ointment lightly. He brushed along the width of his shoulders, before dropping his hands a little lower and pressing his thumbs just below Arthur's shoulder blades. Arthur (unconsciously, Merlin suspected) leaned back into the touch, pushing insistently against Merlin's hands. He brought them back up to Arthur's shoulders, and began to massage in earnest. His fingers danced over Arthur's shoulders, occasionally grazing along his collar bones, before darting back up to caress the tendons of his neck. He moved his hands in broad sweeping circles across Arthur's back, enjoying the feel of Arthur's warm, pliant skin under him.

Merlin could feel the tension in Arthur's shoulders easing under his hands, and he couldn't help the little spark of pride at that. It was replaced by a spark of something entirely different when Arthur's head dropped down and a moan escaped his lips. Merlin drew back immediately, as if Arthur's skin was on fire. He immediately felt room fill with foot-shuffling, fingernail-examining awkwardness, and was ready to stand up and flee when -

"Keep going."

Arthur's voice was slightly hoarse, but distinct. Merlin cautiously reached for him again. Tentatively, he resumed the massage. Arthur resumed the moaning, still soft, but unmistakable.

It was all rather unfair, Merlin thought. On the one hand, touching Arthur like this was incredibly enjoyable. On the other, touching Arthur like this was turning him on to an unfortunate degree. Merlin had no idea how he was going to get out of this situation with his dignity intact.

He was still musing on this conundrum when Arthur turned abruptly and seized his wrists.

"Arthur?"

He looked up to see Arthur surprisingly close, staring at him with darkened eyes, lips slightly parted. Merlin licked his own, mostly out of nervousness, and was completely powerless to stop his gaze travelling down. Oh. Oh. It appeared that Merlin wasn't the only one who had to worry about his dignity. He looked back up to meet Arthur's eyes, which were now unabashedly staring at Merlin's lips. When they curled into a smile, Arthur's eyes returned to his.

They continued to look at each other, neither moving, Arthur still gripping his wrists, tightly almost to the point of pain. Merlin wanted, more than anything, to lean forward and close the distance, but he couldn't, he was frozen, fixed, entirely at Arthur's mercy. Slowly, Arthur eased his hold on Merlin's wrists, bringing them forward. Merlin stretched out his fingers, instinctively, and they made contact with Arthur's chest. He drew his breath in sharply, eyes fixed on his own hands splayed almost possessively over Arthur.

Then, with a slight, impatient noise, hands still clasping Merlin's wrists, Arthur leaned forward and pressed his lips against Merlin's.

Uther makes them do it!

Date: 2011-03-04 04:44 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] rebeccaann08.livejournal.com
Uther stared at the servant, then at the unicorn standing in the room across from them.

Gaius stepped forward. "Er, excuse me, Sire. I believe I can explain."

"You never told me your apprentice was a sorcerer," Uther accused.

"That's because he's not, Sire. He's innocent," Gaius said. He jumped when two fairies appeared next to Merlin, popping in out of nowhere and flying around his head, spreading glittery dust everywhere.

"What do you mean?"

"I mean exactly what I said. He's innocent. Very innocent. He's so pure that the purest of creatures are attracted to him," Gaius said.

Arthur stepped forward. "Wait a minute. Are you telling me that...that magical creatures are appearing all over the castle because Merlin is a virgin?"

Merlin blushed. "It's not my fault!"

Arthur eyed him and shrugged. "I've said it before. What a man does in his own time - or doesn't do in your case - is his own business."

"Well if I didn't have to spend all my time taking care of you and drawing you baths and polishing your armor and mucking out your stables and...and...all the other stuff you make me do, maybe I could get laid!"

Uther turned to his son. "Is this true?"

"What? That I give him jobs to do?"

"That he doesn't have much free time?"

Arthur frowned, thinking. "Well, maybe. I don't know, it's not my job to keep an eye on him at all hours of the day."

"But he is your servant and it is your job to make sure he doesn't harm Camelot. Which he's doing by attracting magical creatures. So therefore, it is your job to correct it," Uther said, sitting back down on his throne.

"How?" Arthur looked between Merlin, the fairies, Gaius, Uther, and the unicorn, shifting nervously.

Uther eyed him.

"You want me to...to...take away his innocence?" Arthur said, blushing hotly.

"Within the hour," Uther said. When Arthur didn't move, Uther glared. "See to it, then."

Arthur opened his mouth to protest, but then paused and studied Merlin, his eyes roving up and down his servant's body.

"May I be excused from my duties for the rest of the day, father?" Arthur suddenly asked, his eyes not leaving Merlin's form.

"Surely it won't take all day to see the job through," Uther said, frowning.

"Yes father, but if the situation is as serious as you say it is, then I should do a thorough job, no?"

Uther considered for a moment before conceding. "All right, you are excused for the day. But make sure you thoroughly take his innocence."

Merlin squeaked when Arthur grabbed his wrist, pulling him out of the room.

"Come on, Merlin, let's do this," he said, grinning. "You know, for Camelot's sake."
From: [identity profile] geneva2010.livejournal.com
O.M.G. this was hilarious! Thanks for playing and brightening my morning.

“What? I’m not your friend! Did you want to be friends?" - - AHAHAHAHA! I never thought of that "mate" synonym issue before.
From: [identity profile] geneva2010.livejournal.com
I liked Harry playing Draco for all he was worth here. Good one!

Re: Uther makes them do it!

Date: 2011-03-04 04:48 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] wanderhomeagain.livejournal.com
ahaha! That is amazing. FOR CAMELOT!

Re: Uther makes them do it!

Date: 2011-03-04 04:48 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] lolafeist.livejournal.com
AH HAHAHAHAHAHA AWESOME.

DO IT THOROUGHLY ARTHUR. FYEAH.

Re: Uther makes them do it!

Date: 2011-03-04 04:51 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] rebeccaann08.livejournal.com
And isn't it ironic that that post just popped my comment fic cherry? :D

Re: Uther makes them do it!

Date: 2011-03-04 04:52 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] marguerite-26.livejournal.com
For the love of Camelot, Arthur, be very very thorough. :DDDD

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