LDWS - Week 4 - Lily
May. 24th, 2009 12:30 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
marguerite_26Congrats to this weeks ![[livejournal.com profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/external/lj-community.gif)
next_gen_ldws winner: ![[livejournal.com profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/external/lj-userinfo.gif)
kereia, with the very creative Tombs & Treasure (Number 7, in the list)
My entry was written for the lovelysnegurochka_lee. This drabble was inspired by a favourite fic of hers: Without Remorse by queenb23more. (I highly recommend it!)
Title: Shattered
Author:marguerite_26
Rating: R
Pairings/Warnings: Scorpius/Lily, Scorpius/?, infidelity
Notes: Many thanks topotteresque_ire who was invaluable in cutting this down to size.
Wand held high, Lily whirled around the room. Her eyes were bright with fury and pain.
Lily burst into the flat, thrilled to be home a day early. "Scorpius?"
Drawers flew open with a bang. Jumpers, trousers and knickers filled the air. With a sharp flick, she directed them to the open trunk.
The flat was dark and silent but for a slit of light that filtered into hallway from beneath their bedroom door.
Her wedding picture smashed against the far wall. Glass scattered throughout the room; a stray shard sliced her cheek.
The soft sounds from behind the door set her hands trembling as she turned the handle.
The delicate negligee he'd given her for their first anniversary caught on a protruding nail. It ripped in half.
They lay on the bed a tangle of naked limbs and sweat, thrusting against each other with well practiced ease.
The lily tiara her mother had strong-armed her into wearing down the aisle rose from the closet in a cloud of dust; it settled atop the haphazard pile. One lily snapped off its stem as the trunk slammed shut; it shattered on the wooden floorboards.
Her heel crushed the remains into powder.
Above the soft slap of flesh and mattress squeaks, she heard her husband's voice. "Only you, Rose. It's only ever been you."
Her hand on the doorknob, she turned. Her wand pointed at the desecrated marital bed–"Incendio."
next_gen_ldws winner: kereia, with the very creative Tombs & Treasure (Number 7, in the list)My entry was written for the lovely
snegurochka_lee. This drabble was inspired by a favourite fic of hers: Without Remorse by queenb23more. (I highly recommend it!)Title: Shattered
Author:
marguerite_26Rating: R
Pairings/Warnings: Scorpius/Lily, Scorpius/?, infidelity
Notes: Many thanks to
potteresque_ire who was invaluable in cutting this down to size.Wand held high, Lily whirled around the room. Her eyes were bright with fury and pain.
Lily burst into the flat, thrilled to be home a day early. "Scorpius?"
Drawers flew open with a bang. Jumpers, trousers and knickers filled the air. With a sharp flick, she directed them to the open trunk.
The flat was dark and silent but for a slit of light that filtered into hallway from beneath their bedroom door.
Her wedding picture smashed against the far wall. Glass scattered throughout the room; a stray shard sliced her cheek.
The soft sounds from behind the door set her hands trembling as she turned the handle.
The delicate negligee he'd given her for their first anniversary caught on a protruding nail. It ripped in half.
They lay on the bed a tangle of naked limbs and sweat, thrusting against each other with well practiced ease.
The lily tiara her mother had strong-armed her into wearing down the aisle rose from the closet in a cloud of dust; it settled atop the haphazard pile. One lily snapped off its stem as the trunk slammed shut; it shattered on the wooden floorboards.
Her heel crushed the remains into powder.
Above the soft slap of flesh and mattress squeaks, she heard her husband's voice. "Only you, Rose. It's only ever been you."
Her hand on the doorknob, she turned. Her wand pointed at the desecrated marital bed–"Incendio."
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no subject
Date: 2009-05-24 11:50 pm (UTC)You also have some wicked strong verbs going that are so essential to shortfic!writing: whirled, burst, smashed, caught, ripped, sliced, slammed, shattered, crushed. Love it!
no subject
Date: 2009-05-25 12:42 am (UTC)because the cheating bastard loved Rose more.Thanks for taking a minute to read and for your lovely review (which is as long as the fic)! I'm glad the structure worked. It was written as two pieces past/present and then I smushed them together, re-writing until I liked it, then I crossed my fingers that it would read well.
no subject
Date: 2009-05-25 03:19 am (UTC)Fantastic Job!!
no subject
Date: 2009-05-25 03:34 am (UTC)I love that fic. And when I decided to do an Lily/Scorpius infidelity, that fic immediately popped into my head so I went with a future AU possibility. :D
no subject
Date: 2009-05-25 03:40 am (UTC)Shannon's (queenb23more) fic journal is locked, friend her and she will friend you no prob right back.
There is also her longer story Now or Never , it's currently 26 chapters, where Rose and Scorp are still at Hogwarts and enduring all the antagonism with their families because they are dating.
no subject
Date: 2009-05-25 12:43 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2009-05-25 12:51 pm (UTC)YAY!!!!!!!!
YAY!!!!!!!!
YAY!!!!!!!!
I think I mentioned in my comment to Without Remorse that I'm not a Scorpius/Rose fan, I do prefer Scorpius/Lily. But Lee recced it and I couldn't resist! And then you made me hate Lily and love Rose! Which was so awesome!
I couldn't help but want to give Lily a glimpse of what her husband really felt. Though your ending was far too perfect to want to tamper with! And I do believe Rose would never touch him again. But this was a fun little AU in 250 words.
I'm so chuffed you liked it!