LDWS - Week 4 - Lily

[marguerite_26]

Congrats to this weeks next_gen_ldws winner: kereia, with the very creative Tombs & Treasure (Number 7, in the list)

My entry was written for the lovely snegurochka_lee. This drabble was inspired by a favourite fic of hers: Without Remorse by queenb23more. (I highly recommend it!)


Title: Shattered
Author: marguerite_26
Rating: R
Pairings/Warnings: Scorpius/Lily, Scorpius/?, infidelity
Notes: Many thanks to potteresque_ire who was invaluable in cutting this down to size.



Wand held high, Lily whirled around the room. Her eyes were bright with fury and pain.

Lily burst into the flat, thrilled to be home a day early. "Scorpius?"

Drawers flew open with a bang. Jumpers, trousers and knickers filled the air. With a sharp flick, she directed them to the open trunk.

The flat was dark and silent but for a slit of light that filtered into hallway from beneath their bedroom door.

Her wedding picture smashed against the far wall. Glass scattered throughout the room; a stray shard sliced her cheek.

The soft sounds from behind the door set her hands trembling as she turned the handle.

The delicate negligee he'd given her for their first anniversary caught on a protruding nail. It ripped in half.

They lay on the bed a tangle of naked limbs and sweat, thrusting against each other with well practiced ease.

The lily tiara her mother had strong-armed her into wearing down the aisle rose from the closet in a cloud of dust; it settled atop the haphazard pile. One lily snapped off its stem as the trunk slammed shut; it shattered on the wooden floorboards.

Her heel crushed the remains into powder.

Above the soft slap of flesh and mattress squeaks, she heard her husband's voice. "Only you, Rose. It's only ever been you."

Her hand on the doorknob, she turned. Her wand pointed at the desecrated marital bed–"Incendio."

Comments

[snegurochka_lee]

Oooh, like an AU of the first fic! I love it. The story itself is so totally to my taste, ahahaha, as you know (*g*), with the Scorpius/Rose and the infidelity and woooo, the hints of sweaty, illicit sex. But I also really like the structure. It works so nicely all together, but also I liked reading each 'segment' alone to flow together. Very cool. I also love that we don't get Scorpius's reaction, since hey, it's not about him; it's about Lily, and rightly so.

You also have some wicked strong verbs going that are so essential to shortfic!writing: whirled, burst, smashed, caught, ripped, sliced, slammed, shattered, crushed. Love it!

[brissygirl.livejournal.com]

Queenb23more is a friend of mine as well as my beta and as soon as I read this drabble the other day i emailed her and told her about it. I also voted for it.

Fantastic Job!!

[rose-starr.livejournal.com]

I absolutely love this from Lily's pov!!!! You actually made me feel sorry for her, and I didn't while writing the original, which is a testament to your skill!!! *grins* I'm so honored that you used Without Remorse as inspiration!!!! ♥