"I don't know, okay! I don't know, Cas." Dean slammed the tumbler onto the desk. The whiskey sloshed up to the rim of the glass, but neither the low thump against the wood nor the ice in his own voice quite managed to pull him out of the fucked-up loop in his head.
Cas stood by the door, snow in his hair and on his coat. Snow was a constant now, as if Lucifer discovered irony in the last corner of hell.
"You've read every book."
"Yeah, I've read all the books and talked to all the people, every single one of them in this-" Dean threw the notebook onto the desk, sending the glass flying, then shattering to the floor "-it's not in there. Nothing, nothing is in there."
Dean's fingers shook with cold and had since the government had started rationing fuel. None of cars in the neighbourhood had any to offer, and no, he'd not been the only one drilling holes into the tanks.
"We'll find him," Castiel said. The snow melted on his lashes and his skin, turned into clear pearls of water.
"Yeah? I'm not seeing it, Cas." The glass shards crunched under Dean's boots as he walked to the bed and sat down. He leaned forward, elbows on his knees and face in the palms of his hand. Sleep had become about as precious as fuel and he was starting to really lose it here.
A current in the air, a flutter and Dean got caught firmly but gently around his middle and drawn down to the bed. The melted snow slipped from Castiel's coat down Dean's face where it was pressed against Castiel's shoulder, but underneath Castiel was warm and alive, heart thumping loud.
Dean scrabbled to hold onto something as he thought of Sam out there, somewhere in the snow, maybe dead already, while he had this, but the only thing he felt around him were the feathers of Castiel's wings.
"I'll have to make more calls."
"Yes."
"Do more research."
Dean could swear Castiel sighed. Castiel's fingers slipped to the back of Dean's neck and drew him down until Dean buried his face in Castiel's wings, eyes closed as they tickled over his lips and nose, down the stubble on his chin and cheeks and neck. Castiel rubbed his thumb slowly up and down just behind Dean's ear.
"You need to sleep first."
"I don't have time for sleep."
"Shhh."
"I don't-" A few feathers slid into Dean's mouth, soft and dry between Dean's lips and on his tongue.
"Later, Dean. You've got time for that later."
Dean felt Castiel's legs draw around his own as he curled his wings tighter around them. Outside the snowstorm howled and rattled at the windows and the room reeked a little of the spilled whiskey, but Dean closed his eyes, mouthing at the feathers in his mouth and fell asleep with Cas murmuring things into his ear he'd never be able to repeat but instinctively understood.
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branchandroot
no subject
Date: 2012-03-26 10:10 pm (UTC)Cas stood by the door, snow in his hair and on his coat. Snow was a constant now, as if Lucifer discovered irony in the last corner of hell.
"You've read every book."
"Yeah, I've read all the books and talked to all the people, every single one of them in this-" Dean threw the notebook onto the desk, sending the glass flying, then shattering to the floor "-it's not in there. Nothing, nothing is in there."
Dean's fingers shook with cold and had since the government had started rationing fuel. None of cars in the neighbourhood had any to offer, and no, he'd not been the only one drilling holes into the tanks.
"We'll find him," Castiel said. The snow melted on his lashes and his skin, turned into clear pearls of water.
"Yeah? I'm not seeing it, Cas." The glass shards crunched under Dean's boots as he walked to the bed and sat down. He leaned forward, elbows on his knees and face in the palms of his hand. Sleep had become about as precious as fuel and he was starting to really lose it here.
A current in the air, a flutter and Dean got caught firmly but gently around his middle and drawn down to the bed. The melted snow slipped from Castiel's coat down Dean's face where it was pressed against Castiel's shoulder, but underneath Castiel was warm and alive, heart thumping loud.
Dean scrabbled to hold onto something as he thought of Sam out there, somewhere in the snow, maybe dead already, while he had this, but the only thing he felt around him were the feathers of Castiel's wings.
"I'll have to make more calls."
"Yes."
"Do more research."
Dean could swear Castiel sighed. Castiel's fingers slipped to the back of Dean's neck and drew him down until Dean buried his face in Castiel's wings, eyes closed as they tickled over his lips and nose, down the stubble on his chin and cheeks and neck. Castiel rubbed his thumb slowly up and down just behind Dean's ear.
"You need to sleep first."
"I don't have time for sleep."
"Shhh."
"I don't-" A few feathers slid into Dean's mouth, soft and dry between Dean's lips and on his tongue.
"Later, Dean. You've got time for that later."
Dean felt Castiel's legs draw around his own as he curled his wings tighter around them. Outside the snowstorm howled and rattled at the windows and the room reeked a little of the spilled whiskey, but Dean closed his eyes, mouthing at the feathers in his mouth and fell asleep with Cas murmuring things into his ear he'd never be able to repeat but instinctively understood.
I tried <3