marguerite_26 | Make them do it

Entry tags:

Make them do it - Comment fest!

So what are you guys up for today? A little comment fest type thing?

The other day Hermette suggested a cliché fest based on the How to make Merlin/Arthur do it list. To which I said: YES! (because moar porn! *grabby hands*). Thank you to

ella_bane, who agreed to be my co-host in this little fest. <3

Banner by

hermette

Harry/Draco lovers! I have not forgotten you! I welcome you to write comment fic based on The H/D Emergency Plothole Fix List! --- Anyone willing to make me a pretty banner?

How this works:
~ Grab a cliché, trope, contrived set-up, random reason to be naked from either list and write a fic of any size. And comment with it (or a link to it) below.
~ Put the pairing and 'make them do it' reason in the subject line.
~ Multiple fills of the same cliché are very very welcome.
~ I’m not big on rules. If you want to write a cliché fic for a pairing other than Merlin/Arthur or Harry/Draco (or even a fandom other than Merlin/HP.... go right ahead. Good porn is good porn, yeah).
~ Also Porn is lovely, but not necessary. :P
~ These lists are not closed for business. Feel free to continue to add to them (in their respective posts).
ETA:
~ Feel free to comment begging for particular cliches you want written

Fics so far:

[HP]
Harry/Draco - Draco being a Veela made them do it. by

kjp_013
Harry/Draco; Watching 'Merlin' made them do it! by

faithwood
Harry/Draco - Pink unicorns flying through the sky made them do it! by

dysonrules WITH ART by

star_sailor13
Harry/Scorpius - Harry not believing Scorpius is as amazing in bed as he claims makes them do it by

snarkyscorp
Harry/Draco -- Pink unicorns made them do it! - #2 by

vaysh11
Harry/Draco: Resurrected with ancient veela magic Snape makes them do it by

chantefable
Al/Scorpius- Draco Being A Homophobe Made Them Do It by

ginger_veela ~~[WIP!]~~
H/D—"Pink unicorns made them do it!"... No. 3 by

potteresque_ire
Draco/Harry - Waking Up In Bed Together... Makes Them Do It by

hpfangirl71
Being accused of a crime together makes them do it by

wind_hime99

[Merlin]
Arthur/Merlin, Arthur being shirtless makes them do it by

kim47
Arthur/Merlin, Uther makes them do it! by

rebeccaann08 and The Sequel
Arthur/Merlin Destiny made them do it. by anon
Arthur/Merlin Destiny always makes them do it/Magic reveal makes them do it by

lolafeist
Merlin/Arthur - Alcohol and the office party made them do it by anon
Arthur/Merlin Arthur being honourable makes them do it by

marguerite_26 ~~[WIP!]~~
Arthur/Merlin Sex magic/rituals made them do it by

natanilik
Arthur/Merlin Riding double on Hengroen makes them do it! (nc17) by

myashke
Arthur/Merlin - In Which Sharing a Bed Made Them Do It by

lycoris
Arthur/Merlin - Pretend boyfriends at a boozy party made them do it by

social_retard86
Arthur/Merlin, body heat makes them do it by

mabonwitch ~~[WIP!]~~
Arthur/Merlin, Merlin not believing Arthur is as amazing in bed as he claims made them do it by

kim47
Merlin/Arthur, Gwaine In Which a Shared Doctor Who Obsession Made them Do It by

lycoris
Arthur/Merlin, Full Moon makes them do it (every night) by

mabonwitch
Arthur/Merlin, Merlin's magic continuously vanishing Arthur's pants makes them do it by

rebbeile
Arthur/Merlin, The Heat of Battle (and various other things) make them do it. by

gfeather
Arthur/Merlin - Arthur being awful at emotional stuff but good at physical makes them do it by

lady_ragnell
Arthur/Merlin - Gaius recs sex as the best cure for the common whatever and makes them do it! by

gfeather
Arthur/Merlin Walking in on Gaius and Geoffrey in the wild abandon of sodomy makes them do it. by anon
Arthur/Merlin. Excalibur makes them do it. by

rotrude
Arthur/Merlin Horny knights make them do it. by

sparklespiff
Arthur/Merlin - Gwen Cheating on Arthur With Lancelot Makes Them Do It by

dornfelder

[crossovers]
Harry Potter/Morgause, accidental time-travel makes them do it by

chantefable
Harry/Draco; Watching 'Merlin' made them do it! by

faithwood

Wanna pimp this?
A bunch of banners below:
M/A Banner: http://i55.tinypic.com/2q3akhg.jpg

M/A Banner: http://i52.tinypic.com/10fqpdz.jpg

M/A Banner: http://i51.tinypic.com/20j6cu8.jpg

Multi-ship/Multi-fandom Banner: http://i52.tinypic.com/2607ssh.jpg

Harry/Draco Banner: http://www.hdcareerfair.de/Storage/Images/CommentFestHD.jpg

Threaded | Top-Level Comments Only

"Within the hour," Uther said.

I think I just died laughing.

HAHAHAAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHA!!!!!!!

THAT'S BRILLIANT!!!

UNICORNS! PINK PLYING UNICORNS!!

*Is laughing too hard* Ow.

Is there no end to your awesomeness???????????

They have splendiforous magical powers of magic. *nods nods*

:D Always!

♥

♥

Thank you!

I landed right on top of fifty fluffy kittens. It was AWESOME. Not for them, though. :(

♥

♥

Now all we need is Merlin and Arthur reading Harry Potter books. Somehow.

Hm. Apparently I need a blonde (spelling correct) when I start watching my new and shiny Merlin DVDs.

Bring two, just in case!

♥

~o~

Arthur picked at his dinner that night, stoic in a way that leaned more toward brooding than pouting. Merlin served him with a stiff, impeccable politeness that made Arthur wince every time Merlin opened his mouth. If he’d been less angry, Merlin might have appreciated the irony.

Arthur pushed away his half-eaten plate and walked over to the fireplace, bracing both hands on the stone mantle as he often did when deep in thought.

"Did you ever—"Arthur cleared his throat, his eyes on the flames. "Were you expected to—" He stopped again.

Merlin waited but nothing else came. Didn’t matter, he knew what Arthur was asking and he felt no compulsion to answer. "Does it bother you, Sire?"

Arthur’s hands clenched into fists against the mantle. Merlin felt a warm swell of satisfaction as he watched the muscles of Arthur’s jaw work as he gritted his teeth. When he thought the conversation over, Merlin picked up Arthur’s hunting knife and set the whet stone on the table to begin his nightly cleaning routine.

"You are dismissed." The words were quiet, whispers spoken into the hearth.

Merlin put down the knife and looked over to Arthur. "Sire?"

Arthur still didn’t turn, made no indication he’d spoken at all. Merlin questioned whether or not he was hearing things until Arthur said again, "You are dismissed, Merlin. Leave me."

Harry just can't help winning! :D

I have a strict "do not drink while reading Faith fic" rule!

*giggles* Wise rule!

♥

Heh! Glad it did! ♥

:D Glad it made you laugh!

♥

:D :D :D

THAT'S my boy!

Love Harry's glasses fogging up!!!

♥

*adores your icon*

Summary: Resurrected with ancient veela magic Snape makes them do it. (Don't look at me that way –

phoenixacid and

potteresque_ire made me do it! I remember it vividly. I think…)

It's a dark, dark night.

In a dark, dark room there's a dark, dark shape. It stirs and it mutters (darkly), it jerks and it sputters.

Wildly.

It's a dark, dark night; there are dark, dark things happening. In a dark, dark room there's a dead, dead man clutching his neck with bony fingers because being bitten by malicious magical snakes hurts like hell, in case any of you wondered, and he has obviously been revived by a completely inept dunderhead who cannot tell their wand from an anal thermometer, oh, the horror, oh, the cramps, oh, the splitting headache.

These are dark, dark times, witches and gentlewizards.

On a dark, dark night – not a single star in sight – our dead, dead man is wondering. Of course, death is inevitable if it's Dumbledore's plan – that's not what confuses the dead, dead man. In the dark, dark room there are hushed, hushed voices.

The Battle is over.

Interesting.

In the dark, dark room there are hushed, hushed voices.

They have won.

Oh, that's a relief.

In the dark, dark room there are dark, dark shapes on the floor. On the dirty old floor of the Shrieking Shack. There are dark, dark shapes twisting and turning, wrestling and rolling, stretching and straining, arching and moaning.

On the dirty old floor of the Shrieking Shack.

Oh, honestly.

After all the dark, dark, dark magic and the dark, dark, secret missions – to die like a hero.

After the bloody idiot Chosen One decided to tussle with the bloody idiot one quarter veela luckless idiot Death Eater whelp, thus unleashing ancient revitalising magical energies of virgin veela sexual initiation – to be resurrected as collateral damage?

Bugger that.

Our dead, dead man has his own secret plan: quietly, very quietly, he slips out – out – out into the dark, dark night.

We shall keep this dark, dark secret, witches and gentlewizards.

HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHA!

Bless those flying pink unicorns for not being the strangest, the most impossible thing in a magical world. :D

The beginning nearly killed me with the hot. ♥

Easy. THE TARDIS MADE THEM DO IT.

I thought it was perfect for you. I was going to call you "badass" as well but you sort of get the point. XD

Heh, point. *Bad slayer joke*

"We're not really," Merlin gestured vaguely across the living room to where Arthur was perched on the arm of a sofa chatting, "a couple, you know. It's, er, a bit of a funny story."

The girl Merlin was talking to, she was pretty and small and blonde, smiled indulgently.

"Oh?" she said.

Merlin squinted at her and suddenly realised he'd had too much to drink.

"Yeah, no, because we had to pretend for this party."

"Why?" the girl - what was her name? - asked.

"Arthur, right," Merlin laughed and scuffed his foot along a groove in the parquet floor. "He had a messy breakup with Vivian, you know her?"

The girl looked blank.

"Anyway, so it was messy and she's still into him and we had to come to this party, because it's Gwen's birthday, but we knew she'd be here so... pretend boyfriends!"

"Really?" The girl said, looking to their right.

Merlin followed her gaze and found Arthur staring at them. He grinned and waved, Arthur smiled back. They watched as he touched the girl he was talking to on the shoulder, casually excusing himself, and ambled over.

"Alright there?" he asked, close to Merlin's ear, and slipped an arm around his waist to rest.

"Yeah," Merlin couldn't stop grinning, his face was being uncooperative. "'S alright, I told... thingy here-"

"- Nicola."

"Yes," Merlin pointed at her emphatically. "Nicola. Nicola here about how we're faking to fool Viv."

"Merlin," Arthur was smiling like he was simple and rested his forehead against Merlin's temple. "How much have you had to drink?"

"What?" Merlin asked. "Just this cup!"

"Give me tha - WHOA," Arthur made a face as he caught a whiff of the cup. "How strong was this?"

"I don't know, I'm no good with measures so Tricks made it for me."

"Tricks," Arthur said.

"Yes, TRI - oh," Merlin burped. "Oh shit, did I fuck up?"

They both looked at Nicola, who held up her hand. "Hey, I know noone here, just came with my boyfriend. I won't tell."

"The thing is," Arthur said, sounding very reasonable and pulling Merlin in closer to his side. "Er... Merlin?"

"I was lying," Merlin slurred. "I'm a bad boyfriend. Terrible." He paused to burp again. "I don't know why he puts up with me. Whiff of a barmaids apron -"

"A whiff!" Arthur emphasised.

"Yeah, and I'm forgetting about my adorable boyfriend, here," he patted Arthur's cheek. "Bloody gorgeous, isn't he?" He slung an arm around Arthur's neck and beamed at Nicola proudly.

"Very handsome, yeah," she nodded, glancing over their shoulders. "I don't suppose Vivian is a blonde?"

"Yeah, why?" Arthur said, lacing his fingers through Merlin's where they rested on his shoulder.

"Er," Nicola said and looked like she was about to warn them about something but then,

"What the hell is going on here?"

Vivian. Tricks was behind her and Gwen was looking on in horror from the doorway.

"Er," Merlin said, looking back for Nicola and finding her gone. Fair play, he thought.

"Nothing," Arthur said. "Why?"

"You and..." she gestured at him. "Him?"

"Er," Merlin said again. Arthur rolled his eyes.

"Wait, or is he just really drunk?" she squinted at him, expression clearing.

"Well, yes, he is really drunk," Arthur said, ignoring Merlin's huff of indignation. "But I'm also... you know, with him."

"WHAT?"

"I give excellent he-" Merlin started but was then cut off by a hand over his mouth. Arthur's hand.

"I've been lying to myself for too long, Vivian," he said. "I should thank you, it was when we were together that I began to realise... It's Merlin. It's always been Merlin. We're, er, engaged."

"Two men can't get engaged," Tricks piped up, all slime and patronising tone.

"Fine," Arthur glared. "We're... civil-partnershipped-to-be or whatever."

"Yeah," Merlin glared. "Or whatever."

"That's ludicrous! You can't have been together more than three months!" Vivian screeched.

"Well we wanked together once at school and that was... I dunno, fuckin' years ago," Merlin laughed to himself and grinned at Arthur soppily. "Hey, shall we make that our anniversary?"

"Yeah," Arthur smiled back, squeezing his hand. "Great idea."

"You're... sick," Vivian spat. "Sick and perverse and..."

"OI!" came a booming voice from across the room. A big man, who Merlin didn't recognise but who nodded at Arthur, put his drink down on a side table pointedly and strode over. "So being gay is sick and perverse, is it?"

"Er," Vivian's eyes widened and she looked to Tricks for support but he was suddenly more interested in the floor. "No! That's not what I meant!"

"Sounded like it to me," the man shifted on the spot, folding his massive arms over his chest and cocking his head.

"It's alright, Perc. It's fine, let it go."

"You sure, Arthur?" Percy stared Vivian down.

"Yeah," Arthur said, looking smug.

A hand landed on Vivian's shoulder.

"I think you'd better go," Gwen said gently, eyes sympathetic because that's Gwen all over. "Don't you?"

"Yeah," she nodded and then looking back at Arthur, "I -" she stopped, shook her head and turned away.

She walked towards the door, he heels clacking loud in the now mostly silent room, and then as she was about to leave she turned.

"Call me?" she said in a small hopeful voice, before Tricks shoved her through the doorway and out of the flat.

Arthur waved awkwardly.

"Man," Merlin muttered beside him. "Some people never give up."

"Do you really?" Arthur asked then, because he wasn't actually sober himself.

"Do I what?" Merlin looked confused.

"Give good head."

"Oh!" Merlin laughed. "Oh yeah! Well, as far as I'm told." Merlin frowned. "Well I sucked off Will once, when I was experimenting. You remember Will? Anyway, he said it was-"

"Shut up," Arthur said, suddenly not wanting details.

"But -"

"I said," Arthur walked him back into the wall, the party back to full force around them. He leaned in close until they were inches apart. "Shut up."

"Wait," Merlin said, a hand pushing on Arthur's chest. "Is this for real?"

"Yeah."

"So you meant -?"

"Yes."

"Me?"

Merlin's hand dropped and his eyes widened. Arthur allowed himself to lean fully against him.

"You." Arthur said. "Always you."

"Oh."

They'd never kissed before. For all their mutual wanks and porn watching, they'd never actually kissed. It felt like he'd swallowed a ball of electricity and it was sparking off in all directions inside his belly. It was a soft, gentle exploration but then Merlin felt Arthur's tongue, tentatively licking his lip, and he moaned. Arthur pressed in suddenly and Merlin found his mouth opening at the dig of fingers on his scalp and then -

"GUYS!" Gwen shouted in their ears.

They ripped apart, flushed and breathless.

"Maybe go home?" she suggested.

"But it's only," Arthur checked his watch. "Midnight. Right. Home." Arthur looked at Merlin, head disheveled and pupils blown. "Yours or mine?"

"Yours. You have bacon."

"See, Merlin, this is why it's always been you," Arthur laughed, guiding him to the door with a hand at the small of his back.

"I'm always thinking," Merlin grinned.

"Not tonight, you're not," Arthur said, eyes fixed on his mouth.

"Fair point," Merlin replied, breathless. "Taxi?"

"Thought you'd never ask."

OKAY, NOW YOU'RE MAKING ME JEALOUS!

*runs to find more Eliza icons*

!!!! And Ten was such a HP fan! It's meant to be!

OMG!! LOVE LOVE LOVE!!

Threaded | Top-Level Comments Only

Page 7 of 27

Make them do it - Comment fest!

Re: Uther makes them do it!

Re: Pink unicorns flying through the sky made them do it!

Re: Harry/Draco; Watching 'Merlin' made them do it!

Re: Pink unicorns flying through the sky made them do it!

Re: Harry/Draco; Watching 'Merlin' made them do it!

Re: Harry/Draco; Watching 'Merlin' made them do it!

Re: Harry/Draco; Watching 'Merlin' made them do it!

Re: Harry/Draco; Watching 'Merlin' made them do it!

Re: Harry/Draco; Watching 'Merlin' made them do it!

Arthur/Merlin - Arthur being honourable makes them do it [Part 2/3]

Re: Harry/Draco; Watching 'Merlin' made them do it!

Re: Harry/Draco; Watching 'Merlin' made them do it!

Re: Harry/Draco; Watching 'Merlin' made them do it!

Re: Harry/Draco; Watching 'Merlin' made them do it!

Re: Harry/Scorpius - Harry not believing Scorpius is as amazing in bed as he claims makes them do it

Re: Harry/Draco; Watching 'Merlin' made them do it!

H/D: Resurrected with ancient veela magic Snape makes them do it

Re: "Pink unicorns made them do it! - #2" :) (H/D) part 2

Re: Harry/Draco; Watching 'Merlin' made them do it!

Re: Harry/Draco; Watching 'Merlin' made them do it!

So... Pretend boyfriends at a boozy party made them do it?

Re: So... Pretend boyfriends at a boozy party made them do it?

Re: Harry/Draco; Watching 'Merlin' made them do it!

Re: Harry/Draco; Watching 'Merlin' made them do it!

Re: Harry/Draco; Watching 'Merlin' made them do it!